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AriseandShine.org

September 2010

A Ministry of Comfort

9/28/2010

 
Rejoicing with them that do rejoice,
and weep with them that weep. 
Romans 12:15


Prison, by its very nature, will introduce a person to varying levels of pain, especially within the realm of human emotions...
This being the obvious loss of contact with those whom he loves and cares about. Such losses of contact occur should a man's family members reject and disown him for getting arrested for a criminal act. Or it could be due to the passing of time which inevitably causes those on the outside to move on with their lives and gradually forget about the one who's incarcerated. While another way a prisoner may experience severe emotional pain is through the death of a loved one.

Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, wives, and even one's children, may die. And when you're in prison the death of a loved one can be doubly difficult to deal with because of the guilt issue. He will feel guilty for not being able to be with that loved one in the final days of his or her life. There's also the realization that comes when a man in prison becomes aware of all the wasted years which could've been spent with the deceased while they were still alive. Such an awareness of loss and waste could eat at a man's soul and torment him.

As an inmate sits in his cell mourning his loss, he no doubt feels he let his loved one down. If he lost a spouse, he will grieve that he was, at best, never there for her with the exception of the handful of hours they'd occasionally get to spend together in the prison's visiting room, assuming his wife was able to make the trip and had the funds to do so. Many families lack such funds. So visits are few and far between, if they happen at all. Many prisoners never get visits.

It's the same with the kids. They may seldom get to see their father, and they will grow up without him. Some will even be told that their dad was dead. Such a thing recently happened to a man who attends church with me. He hadn't seen his daughter in eighteen years. She thought her father was deceased, as that's what the family members told her. But somehow she discovered he was still very much alive, but in prison. Now a grown woman, she made the trip to see him. He wept in front of me as he lamented the loss of thousands of hours he could've spent with his child had he not come to prison, and had he not led a life of crime.

Nevertheless, God has allowed me the responsibility to try to encourage and help those who are in pain because they're expecting to lose a loved one soon, or have recently lost someone through death. Even this week I had the chance to pray for a prisoner whose wife has cancer that's terminal, while another man has a mother in almost the same situation. Still another just lost an uncle. It was especially devastating for him because the uncle raised him as he would his own son as his father died when he was a child from complications due to alcoholism.

Therefore, as a Christian, what can I possibly say to a man in his time of need? First I have to seek God for guidance. Next I'll say a prayer for him or with him, if he allows it. I will try to give him words of comfort, too. For me, trying to help a fellow human being is both a privilege and a challenge. In a way, even though I'm an inmate myself, I have to become a chaplain and a minister.

D.B.

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    David Berkowitz
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