Within the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to counsel a man who is guilt-ridden over the loss of contact with his family...
As is often the case, an offender who comes to prison after having committed a crime, probably never took into consideration what effect his actions would have upon his immediate family, and himself. Oftentimes, the results are bad. Relationships are damaged. It happened to me, and to many others.
Aside from my father and an uncle from my adoptive mother's side of the family, all my adoptive family has rejected and disowned me. From my birth mother's family, thankfully my Mom and my half-sister and a cousin, stuck with me. However, tragically and foolishly, probably in an unconscious effort to punish myself, I drove them away. As the saying goes, I "burned the bridge." As a result, my birth family is also gone from my life.
It was all my fault that my ties to both my birth and adoptive families were severed. So other than my uncle Lou and my Dad, I was alone. Then, in the 1980s, my uncle died, leaving me with just my adoptive father, Nathan. He and I continued to communicate until his death in 2012.
Now I have no one from either family, and I have tremendous heartache and grief over this. Such is the result of committing crimes without weighing the long-term consequences.
I shared all this with my friend so that he'd realize he's not alone. I told him of my inner pain and the intense longing to be reunited with my loved ones. How I miss them more than words could express. But that no matter how deep the pain, he must never lose hope. I told him that I pray for my loved ones every day. Often several times per day. How I ask God to watch over them wherever they are, and if it be His will, to please do a miracle and make a way for them to come back into my life. As I want the chance to apologize for all the grief and disappointment, I brought upon them. I know it's all in God's hands.
The reality is that crime comes at a terrible cost, and not only for the victim. It leaves behind a devastated and bewildered family of the offender. They're left hurting and feeling betrayed. They're angry, too. Some may be unforgiving. Yet, we serve a God who can restore both lives and relationships. So I told him to keep praying, and never to give up. I believe he'll be okay.
D.B.
Aside from my father and an uncle from my adoptive mother's side of the family, all my adoptive family has rejected and disowned me. From my birth mother's family, thankfully my Mom and my half-sister and a cousin, stuck with me. However, tragically and foolishly, probably in an unconscious effort to punish myself, I drove them away. As the saying goes, I "burned the bridge." As a result, my birth family is also gone from my life.
It was all my fault that my ties to both my birth and adoptive families were severed. So other than my uncle Lou and my Dad, I was alone. Then, in the 1980s, my uncle died, leaving me with just my adoptive father, Nathan. He and I continued to communicate until his death in 2012.
Now I have no one from either family, and I have tremendous heartache and grief over this. Such is the result of committing crimes without weighing the long-term consequences.
I shared all this with my friend so that he'd realize he's not alone. I told him of my inner pain and the intense longing to be reunited with my loved ones. How I miss them more than words could express. But that no matter how deep the pain, he must never lose hope. I told him that I pray for my loved ones every day. Often several times per day. How I ask God to watch over them wherever they are, and if it be His will, to please do a miracle and make a way for them to come back into my life. As I want the chance to apologize for all the grief and disappointment, I brought upon them. I know it's all in God's hands.
The reality is that crime comes at a terrible cost, and not only for the victim. It leaves behind a devastated and bewildered family of the offender. They're left hurting and feeling betrayed. They're angry, too. Some may be unforgiving. Yet, we serve a God who can restore both lives and relationships. So I told him to keep praying, and never to give up. I believe he'll be okay.
D.B.
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