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AriseandShine.org

November 2009

Stuck

11/23/2009

 
For awhile now, actually for the past several years, I had hoped for the chance to resign from my position as inmate pastor and worship leader...
I've written about this in previous journal entries. I have also shared this with a number of close friends who are wise in the Word of God. And I'd been hoping that, once the change is made, I could devote more time to various ministry related writing projects. In addition, I have two different caregiver type jobs in the prison, thus giving me a busy schedule with more than enough to do.

However, every time I wanted to leave my present position and pass on the responsibilities of pastoring to another man who is strong in the faith and very gifted by God for the work, something would come up to prevent me from taking that final step. While I long to seek new challenges and to pursue new adventures in the name of Jesus, the doors I wanted to see opened have yet to do so.

Now it has happened yet again. Last night, during the evening prayer meeting in the chapel, brother Philip suddenly announced that he wanted to step down from his current position as assistant pastor. I had the feeling this was coming because within the past few weeks I noticed that something was troubling him. It showed in his countenance. But in spite of all my gentle cajoling, Philip would not open up to me to share what was on his mind. Clearly his joy was lacking. He hasn't been his Spirit-filled self. And he continues to remain tightlipped, leaving me to guess what the problem could be.

Philip is deeply loved by the members of my congregation. He has a heart for God along with an intense devotion to Christ. Therefore I am very disturbed by the news, and by this turn of events. I'm devastated, too, because I had been thrilled with the thought of turning the mantle over to Philip. This was a tremendous setback and a crushing blow to my spirit as well. But when the opportunity presents itself I plan on having a heart-to-heart talk with him. There may still be hope.

D.B.

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    David Berkowitz
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