It seems that the longer I walk with the Lord, the more I see my own flaws and shortcomings…
When I do, the more I recognize that I am a "work in progress." And that's okay. God is not finished with me yet.
I suppose I am saying this now because, when I asked the Lord to search my heart, He revealed to me that I still have a degree of anger inside me with regards to those who consider themselves to be experts and professionals, but make false accusations against me in the media.
This has been an ongoing thing for more than forty years now. As I wrote in my journal for April 30th, I am very defensive when it comes to my family. So, when I hear so called experts in psychology, criminology, and alike, give their weak, pathetic, and superficial answers for my criminal actions, it troubles me. Not only so, but by doing this they're also depriving the rest of the professional community and the public from learning from situations like mine. They're actually closing the door to knowledge and are inadvertently allowinghumanity to remain in ignorance regarding certain types of abnormal behaviors.
Am I angered by the shallowness and superficiality of those made for television sound bites and ridiculous comments? Of course I am. So would anyone else in my situation. But I am learning how to let this go.
In years past I would be filled with rage against these vain individuals and lash out at them. But the Lord has been teaching me to forgive and pray for them because He loves them too.
Therefore, just as Christ prayed while He hung on the cross, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." I must do the same. Forgive them! But in order for me to do this, I need God's help.*
D. B.
*Luke 23:34
I suppose I am saying this now because, when I asked the Lord to search my heart, He revealed to me that I still have a degree of anger inside me with regards to those who consider themselves to be experts and professionals, but make false accusations against me in the media.
This has been an ongoing thing for more than forty years now. As I wrote in my journal for April 30th, I am very defensive when it comes to my family. So, when I hear so called experts in psychology, criminology, and alike, give their weak, pathetic, and superficial answers for my criminal actions, it troubles me. Not only so, but by doing this they're also depriving the rest of the professional community and the public from learning from situations like mine. They're actually closing the door to knowledge and are inadvertently allowinghumanity to remain in ignorance regarding certain types of abnormal behaviors.
Am I angered by the shallowness and superficiality of those made for television sound bites and ridiculous comments? Of course I am. So would anyone else in my situation. But I am learning how to let this go.
In years past I would be filled with rage against these vain individuals and lash out at them. But the Lord has been teaching me to forgive and pray for them because He loves them too.
Therefore, just as Christ prayed while He hung on the cross, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." I must do the same. Forgive them! But in order for me to do this, I need God's help.*
D. B.
*Luke 23:34