When I had my heart attack and the resulting bypass surgery, I kept thinking to myself that I would never have the chance to tell my family how sorry I am...
for all the pain, grief and embarrassment they experienced after my arrest, and during all that followed. For them, it was a horrible nightmare.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my sister and nieces. I pray for them constantly. I’ve been estranged from my birth family for forty years. I miss them and love them dearly.
However, as the years passed I had hoped for the chance to one day apologize to them, even if it was only by letter. I thought it would’ve happened by now, but I don’t know where they are.
Now I feel time is running out, and I regret not making a more determined effort to locate them. I'm sure they’re living their own lives, so I would never want to disrupt anything or cause them any more pain.
I also know there is so much incorrect information out there about the relationship I had with my birth mother. Sadly, a number of so-called “experts” in the fields of psychology and criminology have expressed their theories as to why the “Son of Sam” crime spree occurred. Such theories ranged from the belief that I was angry at my birth mother for placing me for adoption, which was not the case at all.
While another was that my birth mother and I had a “bad” meeting when we first met after twenty-two years of separation, and that I was “disappointed.” Absolutely untrue. We hit it off and bonded immediately. I was overjoyed to meet such a sweet and kindhearted soul, and it was the same for the rest of the family whom I met that day.
Unfortunately, such negative and incorrect theories by those self-proclaimed professionals only served to make matters worse and caused them even more pain and heartache. Of course, the media jumped on these comments and they’ve been repeating them even all these years later.
I’m sure my mother was crushed to pieces by what was disseminated to the public. I believe she took a lot of false guilt to the grave because of this. But what could
I do?
I only wish I had the chance to tell my family how much I love and miss them, and how sorry I am for all the pain and grief I brought upon their lives. It was all my fault.
D. B.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my sister and nieces. I pray for them constantly. I’ve been estranged from my birth family for forty years. I miss them and love them dearly.
However, as the years passed I had hoped for the chance to one day apologize to them, even if it was only by letter. I thought it would’ve happened by now, but I don’t know where they are.
Now I feel time is running out, and I regret not making a more determined effort to locate them. I'm sure they’re living their own lives, so I would never want to disrupt anything or cause them any more pain.
I also know there is so much incorrect information out there about the relationship I had with my birth mother. Sadly, a number of so-called “experts” in the fields of psychology and criminology have expressed their theories as to why the “Son of Sam” crime spree occurred. Such theories ranged from the belief that I was angry at my birth mother for placing me for adoption, which was not the case at all.
While another was that my birth mother and I had a “bad” meeting when we first met after twenty-two years of separation, and that I was “disappointed.” Absolutely untrue. We hit it off and bonded immediately. I was overjoyed to meet such a sweet and kindhearted soul, and it was the same for the rest of the family whom I met that day.
Unfortunately, such negative and incorrect theories by those self-proclaimed professionals only served to make matters worse and caused them even more pain and heartache. Of course, the media jumped on these comments and they’ve been repeating them even all these years later.
I’m sure my mother was crushed to pieces by what was disseminated to the public. I believe she took a lot of false guilt to the grave because of this. But what could
I do?
I only wish I had the chance to tell my family how much I love and miss them, and how sorry I am for all the pain and grief I brought upon their lives. It was all my fault.
D. B.
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