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AriseandShine.org

May 2006

Always With Me

5/10/2006

 
I am with you always, even unto the end time of the world. 
Matthew 28:20b


I had a quiet and uneventful morning...
 I only had to escort a sight-impaired man to the sergeant’s office for an interview which lasted about twenty minutes, and then I was done.

This afternoon, however, I was with the men from the E-North cell block. And while I am grateful for the chances to help whom I could in this special unit, I must admit that sometimes a "spirit of depression" tries to gain entry into my mind. But when I sense this beginning to happen, I will pull back a little and pray.

Because of my job, which I prefer to call a ministry, I am surrounded by men who are in dire circumstances, and who also suffer with varying degrees of mental illness as well as spiritual oppression.

Some of their inner despair, I believe, comes from the realization that each man has damaged or even ruined his life. They’ve also destroyed relationships they once enjoyed with their families. Thus, they are living with continuous regret in addition to whatever guilt each one may feel as a result of the crime or crimes he committed.

Depression, therefore, is a natural outcome of a life lived badly. And I, too, have wrestled with it. It comes from having to deal with my own memories, failures, and regrets. But I have also observed a spiritual aspect to some depressions in a number of these men; I’ve had both kinds in my life.

Yes, I know that Christ has forgiven me. In His eyes, my sins and failures no longer exist, and I am glad. Yet at times the reality of being separated from my father who recently turned 96 breaks my heart. The pain of being away from him is beyond words to describe.

Nevertheless, God’s grace is able to sustain me. I also believe He understands my pain and my occasional struggles with depression. Likewise, I am reminded that Jesus has promised to be with me always. This is the most important thing.

D.B.

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    David Berkowitz
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