I don't know what Coke-Head was thinking...
He's been in prison for about twenty-three years, and he's doing a sentence of 20-years to life. He's already been to the parole board once, where he received the standard "one size fits all" two-year hit. Coke-Head, however, is still a fairly young man, as he began his sentence when he was only seventeen. He's proud of his jailhouse nickname, too. I don't care for it, of course. As having people call you "Coke-Head" is too derogatory. But in the twisted world of prison, such a name is supposed to somehow garner a greater degree of respect than if he simply used his real name. For now, I will call him Steve.
Coke-Head hails from upstate New York. He was an adolescent runaway and a repeat truant from public school. Living wild on the streets and snorting cocaine to stay high and happy (or so he thought) was all Steve knew. And by living such a fast and drug addicted life, it is no surprise that he ended up stabbing a man to death over drug money.
Coke-Head also suffers from mental problems. This is why he is assigned to E-North's Intermediate Care Program (ICP). And whenever I would go to work in ICP I would stop by his cell to rap and check up on him. Sometimes he'd be in the mood to talk. While at other times he'd be sleeping.
It's not at all uncommon to find prisoners fast asleep within about fifteen minutes after eating lunch, and then remaining asleep throughout the afternoon. Most often it is the result of a man's being on daily doses of powerful tranquilizers and other antipsychotic medications. I suppose that, from the viewpoint of the correctional facility's staff, a sleeping inmate is not going to cause problems. But there have been many days when Coke-Head would be wide awake and agitated.
Steve has a reputation for becoming verbally aggressive towards the staff. He would sometimes scream obscenities at them through the bars of his cell. As a result of this, Steve would be placed on "keeplock" status. This meaning that he was to be confined to his cell on a disciplinary restriction. Much of his prison time has been spent like this. But in my observation, being confined to his room, often for weeks at a time, would only make him more hyper than he already was.
Normally, Steve would be in an educational program to help prepare him for a General Equivalency Diploma (GED).* He's actually assigned to a classroom in the mornings for this purpose. But because he is often keeplocked for bad behavior, he seldom gets to class. It's all a part of his endless quest for self-destruction and self-inflicted punishment.
Unfortunately, however, when I showed up at work this afternoon, I was given the news that Steve cut himself repeatedly with a sharpened can top and was now in the hospital.
Steve's injuries, I was told, were not serious. But his wounds were numerous. He slashed himself on both arms from the wrists to his shoulders, and several times across his face as well. He's done this before, and the wounds were deep enough to scar him for life. The thing is, he was already badly scarred from previous suicide attempts and gestures.
As with many inmates who have mental disorder, their scars give them away. Coke-Head already looked as if he had fallen under a farm tractor and was run over by its many blades. He already looked hideous from prior cuttings, and now this. Steve is no doubt a sad case of many unanswered cries for help.
And Steve has been through this routine before. He'll probably be released from the hospital in a day or two. Most likely, they're keeping him only to make sure he doesn't develop an infection. From here he will be immediately placed in an observation cell in the basement of the Mental Hygiene building, which is on prison grounds. Here he will remain under a 24-hour watch, with a guard posted by the doorway. He will wear only his boxer shorts and a pair of rubber thongs so that he won't have to stand on the cold, concrete floor. And, at some point, if the psychologist in charge of his case makes a determination that Steve is "normal" again, he will be returned to this cell in E-North's ICP. But if it turns out that he is deemed mentally ill and in relapse, he will probably be transferred to the Central New York Psychiatric Center near Utica, New York.
Steve and I have had many conversations about Christ. I never preach to him, or at him. I don't do this with anyone. I just talk and share my faith. Interestingly, his body has lots of tattoos, most of which have long since been covered over by scar tissue. And one of these tattoos is a bold "666" while the second is a pentagram. I had asked him about this, but he assured me he got them only because they "looked cool." He said he's not a satanist.
But his excuse for rejecting Jesus is always the same. "I hate God, and He hates me!" Not true, I've told him dozens of times. For now, he just cannot conceive of a God who loves him and who longs for Steve to join God's family of those who have placed their faith in God's only begotten Son.
D.B.
*In prison lingo, when a man attempts to commit suicide by slashing himself, it is called "cutting up." Steve is not his real name. And in some areas of the country, a General Equivalency Diploma (GED) is known as a General Education Diploma.
Coke-Head hails from upstate New York. He was an adolescent runaway and a repeat truant from public school. Living wild on the streets and snorting cocaine to stay high and happy (or so he thought) was all Steve knew. And by living such a fast and drug addicted life, it is no surprise that he ended up stabbing a man to death over drug money.
Coke-Head also suffers from mental problems. This is why he is assigned to E-North's Intermediate Care Program (ICP). And whenever I would go to work in ICP I would stop by his cell to rap and check up on him. Sometimes he'd be in the mood to talk. While at other times he'd be sleeping.
It's not at all uncommon to find prisoners fast asleep within about fifteen minutes after eating lunch, and then remaining asleep throughout the afternoon. Most often it is the result of a man's being on daily doses of powerful tranquilizers and other antipsychotic medications. I suppose that, from the viewpoint of the correctional facility's staff, a sleeping inmate is not going to cause problems. But there have been many days when Coke-Head would be wide awake and agitated.
Steve has a reputation for becoming verbally aggressive towards the staff. He would sometimes scream obscenities at them through the bars of his cell. As a result of this, Steve would be placed on "keeplock" status. This meaning that he was to be confined to his cell on a disciplinary restriction. Much of his prison time has been spent like this. But in my observation, being confined to his room, often for weeks at a time, would only make him more hyper than he already was.
Normally, Steve would be in an educational program to help prepare him for a General Equivalency Diploma (GED).* He's actually assigned to a classroom in the mornings for this purpose. But because he is often keeplocked for bad behavior, he seldom gets to class. It's all a part of his endless quest for self-destruction and self-inflicted punishment.
Unfortunately, however, when I showed up at work this afternoon, I was given the news that Steve cut himself repeatedly with a sharpened can top and was now in the hospital.
Steve's injuries, I was told, were not serious. But his wounds were numerous. He slashed himself on both arms from the wrists to his shoulders, and several times across his face as well. He's done this before, and the wounds were deep enough to scar him for life. The thing is, he was already badly scarred from previous suicide attempts and gestures.
As with many inmates who have mental disorder, their scars give them away. Coke-Head already looked as if he had fallen under a farm tractor and was run over by its many blades. He already looked hideous from prior cuttings, and now this. Steve is no doubt a sad case of many unanswered cries for help.
And Steve has been through this routine before. He'll probably be released from the hospital in a day or two. Most likely, they're keeping him only to make sure he doesn't develop an infection. From here he will be immediately placed in an observation cell in the basement of the Mental Hygiene building, which is on prison grounds. Here he will remain under a 24-hour watch, with a guard posted by the doorway. He will wear only his boxer shorts and a pair of rubber thongs so that he won't have to stand on the cold, concrete floor. And, at some point, if the psychologist in charge of his case makes a determination that Steve is "normal" again, he will be returned to this cell in E-North's ICP. But if it turns out that he is deemed mentally ill and in relapse, he will probably be transferred to the Central New York Psychiatric Center near Utica, New York.
Steve and I have had many conversations about Christ. I never preach to him, or at him. I don't do this with anyone. I just talk and share my faith. Interestingly, his body has lots of tattoos, most of which have long since been covered over by scar tissue. And one of these tattoos is a bold "666" while the second is a pentagram. I had asked him about this, but he assured me he got them only because they "looked cool." He said he's not a satanist.
But his excuse for rejecting Jesus is always the same. "I hate God, and He hates me!" Not true, I've told him dozens of times. For now, he just cannot conceive of a God who loves him and who longs for Steve to join God's family of those who have placed their faith in God's only begotten Son.
D.B.
*In prison lingo, when a man attempts to commit suicide by slashing himself, it is called "cutting up." Steve is not his real name. And in some areas of the country, a General Equivalency Diploma (GED) is known as a General Education Diploma.
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