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AriseandShine.org

July 2020

A Sordid Past

7/9/2020

 
But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, 
and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward 
the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

​Many have sad and sordid pasts that they wish they could either fix or forget…

I know I do. I have my sorrows and regrets, but what I also know is that I don't have to live in the past anymore. I'm sorry for my past criminal actions. I've apologized for them thousands of times. But the past cannot be changed. The damage cannot be undone. Yet by the grace of God I can move forward. He has brought me too far along the path of life for me to turn back to a dark time of demonism and death.

I've spent enough of my life living in torment and under the control of the devil. He robbed me of much of my childhood. He caused me to experience bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts, and experience prolonged periods of disconnect with my loving parents, Nathan and Pearl. I quietly struggled through adolescence and beyond. There was always an inner battle of sanity versus insanity. This went on for years. There was a tug of war inside me. I had no understanding of why, or what to do about.

Of course there are those who exploit my past for their own profit. It's important and beneficial for them to remain there in order to rehash the tragedy known as "Son of Sam."  But that's the way it goes. A nauseating cabal of "experts" and supposed professionals, whom I believe have taken great liberties with embellishing the past. Not to mention, as well, how much money they make from their grand appearances.

I wince at some of their comments and accounts. These people really don't know me yet make claims and present stories and accounts of events and give opinions that are nothing but hearsay and conjecture. 

They get away with it because there is no one to challenge them. But if this was a courtroom setting where I could cross-examine them and challenge their statements, I know they could not withstand my rebuttals.

In recent years, especially, there's been a slew of crime shows that are based on the Son of Sam case. While at the same time the explanations for this event are now more nonsensical than ever. But what could I do? God wants for me to move forward with my life. If these individuals wish to stay in the past, that's up to them. These days they can get away with saying anything. After all, the media doesn't "fact check" as much as they should. They will accept anyone who's willing to come onboard. For them, the more bizarre, the better.  

But I do believe that in time God will have the final word. Their self-aggrandizing statements and their shocking tales, and the opinions of those with whom I am most certainly in disagreement, will one day be washed away. Only the story of God's mercy and hope will endure.

D. B.


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    David Berkowitz
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