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AriseandShine.org

July 2009

Rest

7/2/2009

 
The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters...
He restoreth my soul. 
Psalm 23:1-3a


The Lord is my shepherd. He definitely knows how to make me to lie down in 'green pastures' when He wants me to rest...
The Lord wants to restore my body and my soul, and this is exactly what I need at this time. Rest!

Meanwhile, as I allow the Lord to slow me down and ease my workload, I continue to immerse myself in the Scriptures. However, I confess to having a serious weakness and flaw. Maybe it's psychological? It might be spiritual in nature, or perhaps it's a combination of the two? But the fact is that I have an approval-driven personality which causes me to oftentimes overexert and overextend myself to what could be considered dangerous levels. And even when I see this taking place, I cannot seem to stop myself or slow down. I don't know how to rest and take a pause. I guess it's called being a workaholic.

Then, added to this, is an absurd and unhealthy need and desire to win the approval of others, usually by trying hard to perform for them. And in the Christian faith, where Christ's followers are called to serve both the church and society, having this kind of behavioral defect, as I do, could become very unhealthy for me if I'm not careful. And, frankly, I'm usually not careful when it comes to doing work and ministry. I tend to overdo it.

So at this time, because I am once again at a stage of fatigue and exhaustion, I must try to cut back on some of my workload and other responsibilities. Even with my journal writing, as well. Because, within the past few weeks, I've had dizzy spells. It felt as if my legs were going to buckle and I had to lean against the nearest wall until the dizziness stopped. Not good signs, for sure.

I suppose these occurrences should be taken as "red flags" of warning. And it is my choice either to heed or ignore them, either to my benefit or to my detriment, depending on how I respond. Usually it's to my detriment since I am prone by my own inability to listen to my body and heed its warnings. I'm good at turning a blind eye to the obvious danger signs.

What can I say? What excuses could I give? I'm a 56-year old man who can be as stubborn as a mule, and as blind as a bat. In fact, I'd usually seek to justify my stupidity by saying words like, "I've got lots of important work to do, and lots of responsibilities, too. And many people are depending on me." This kind of dumb reasoning has consistently been my downfall. It's always been hard for me to say no. It's difficult for me to know when to stop at something, and when to be still. I've been hyperactive since childhood. I'm restless by nature, the type of person who always has to be doing some kind of physical activity.

Yet I sense that, hopefully, it's going to be different this time. God has been trying to teach me how to slow down for a long time. And now I could perceive His displeasure. I'm going to need His help to overcome this, for sure.

I've been walking with the Lord Jesus long enough to know that He is a caring and loving shepherd. He wants the best for me, and for everyone. Jesus wants me to rest in His presence. He wants me to be restored. He wants me to have joy and to be refreshed. I know this, of course. But it is a question of obedience. I hear what He's saying to me, but will I heed His instructions. I hope so.

D.B.

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    David Berkowitz
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