Renaldo arrived at this facility only several months ago. Because of his long psychiatric history he was placed immediately into the care of the prison's mental health staff...
He was then housed at the prison's Intermediate Care Program (E-North/ICP) where I work on weekday afternoons. I introduced myself to the new arrival and Renaldo seemed glad that someone has taken and interest in him. Among his meager possessions, I noticed, was a well worn Bible, and array of post cards of Jesus and Mary, and several different sets of Rosary beads which he hung at various locations in his cell. Renaldo told me these items were to help keep away evil spirits. He's definitely a confused soul, and obviously very superstitious as well.
Renaldo did go to last Sunday's Christian worship service in the chapel. As the service was nearing its end, the minister gave the invitation for anyone wanting or needing prayer to come forward to the altar at the front of the chapel, and Renaldo was among a dozen or so men who opted to do this. Then I watched with humor as he stood in line with the others, all of whom seemed relaxed except for Renaldo. He instead stood at rigid attention with his hands pressed to his sides as if he was in the military. Renaldo stayed this way even when the preacher placed his hands upon him. Renaldo was frozen. He looked to be in a state of shock, although he said nothing. And when the minister was finished praying for him, Renaldo made an about face and quietly returned to his seat.
That Renaldo is heavily medicated is easy to tell. His gait is stiff, his walk is slow for an otherwise healthy looking man in his mid-forties. For the past twenty years Renaldo has been on a regimen of various psychotropic meds as part of his treatment for his mental disorders, and to hopefully prevent any unwanted emotional outbursts. In my talks with Renaldo he told me of his battles with depression, the voices in his head, and his wild impulses. I've never seen him violent, though. Even his current criminal charges were for acts of non-violence. He stole property.
Renaldo's biggest dream, he said, is to return to his home in New York City where his elderly father works as a superintendent and janitor of an old tenement building. Renaldo wants to rejoin his father in his basement apartment. And he told me he has a sister who recently married and now lives in the Bronx.
Like many men who hope to be released one day, Renaldo told me that he's done with prison. "I'm never coming back," he said with a degree of conviction. I hope it's true. Yet many who say this do return to jail. Some are for parole violations while others get arrested for new crimes. For Renaldo, my guess is that, other than by the grace of God, he will return. He has no high school diploma and knows no trade. He must always take his medications, too. And this is actually a law. Under both the guidelines established by the New York State Division of Parole as well as by the Office of Mental Health, he must continue to take any medications his psychiatrist deems necessary. If not, he could be rearrested. Personally, Renaldo seems to be on enough tranquilizers to put an elephant to sleep.
During his lucid moments Renaldo is pleasant to talk to. Although, even then, he will appear jittery. His eyes will dart all around even when he's alone in his cell. I suppose the paranoia never goes away. Yet he does ask questions about the Bible and he seems eager to learn. But I could tell that Renaldo longs for a normal mind. The war in his head has gone on for too long. His weariness is evident. Renaldo wants rest and he wants peace. Renaldo wants to be made whole. I know that only Jesus could give him all this and more.
D.B.
Renaldo did go to last Sunday's Christian worship service in the chapel. As the service was nearing its end, the minister gave the invitation for anyone wanting or needing prayer to come forward to the altar at the front of the chapel, and Renaldo was among a dozen or so men who opted to do this. Then I watched with humor as he stood in line with the others, all of whom seemed relaxed except for Renaldo. He instead stood at rigid attention with his hands pressed to his sides as if he was in the military. Renaldo stayed this way even when the preacher placed his hands upon him. Renaldo was frozen. He looked to be in a state of shock, although he said nothing. And when the minister was finished praying for him, Renaldo made an about face and quietly returned to his seat.
That Renaldo is heavily medicated is easy to tell. His gait is stiff, his walk is slow for an otherwise healthy looking man in his mid-forties. For the past twenty years Renaldo has been on a regimen of various psychotropic meds as part of his treatment for his mental disorders, and to hopefully prevent any unwanted emotional outbursts. In my talks with Renaldo he told me of his battles with depression, the voices in his head, and his wild impulses. I've never seen him violent, though. Even his current criminal charges were for acts of non-violence. He stole property.
Renaldo's biggest dream, he said, is to return to his home in New York City where his elderly father works as a superintendent and janitor of an old tenement building. Renaldo wants to rejoin his father in his basement apartment. And he told me he has a sister who recently married and now lives in the Bronx.
Like many men who hope to be released one day, Renaldo told me that he's done with prison. "I'm never coming back," he said with a degree of conviction. I hope it's true. Yet many who say this do return to jail. Some are for parole violations while others get arrested for new crimes. For Renaldo, my guess is that, other than by the grace of God, he will return. He has no high school diploma and knows no trade. He must always take his medications, too. And this is actually a law. Under both the guidelines established by the New York State Division of Parole as well as by the Office of Mental Health, he must continue to take any medications his psychiatrist deems necessary. If not, he could be rearrested. Personally, Renaldo seems to be on enough tranquilizers to put an elephant to sleep.
During his lucid moments Renaldo is pleasant to talk to. Although, even then, he will appear jittery. His eyes will dart all around even when he's alone in his cell. I suppose the paranoia never goes away. Yet he does ask questions about the Bible and he seems eager to learn. But I could tell that Renaldo longs for a normal mind. The war in his head has gone on for too long. His weariness is evident. Renaldo wants rest and he wants peace. Renaldo wants to be made whole. I know that only Jesus could give him all this and more.
D.B.
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