Renaldo says he doesn't remember exactly when the war first began, but it started slowly. He was a young man at the time. He was in public school, perhaps shortly before his teenage years. Here, at some point, he began to realize that his life, and even his sanity was on the line...
So to survive, he had to fight with every ounce of his strength because it was an intense conflict, he said, that was inside of his head.
Renaldo was trying to fight to keep his sanity, although at the time he really didn't understand what was happening to him. Neither did his family nor his teachers or guidance counselors. There were loudening voices in his head and an increasing pressure and strange impulses which tried to make him do bad things. And, sadly, almost forty years later, the war from within continues to rage.
Renaldo is a forty-five year old Hispanic man. He's of medium build with a full head of thick black hair that he always keeps combed into a neat but greasy looking early 1960s style pompadour. Renaldo seems to be caught in a time warp with this hair style. It's something you would no longer see except in movies such as West Side Story.
He's been in and out of prison several times, and the same for mental hospitals. Renaldo's story is that of a man who's been broken and crushed by a craziness which, according to him, will not go away.
Furthermore, Renaldo is also a recovering heroin addict who said that he got high in order to ease the torment he felt in his soul. In addition, Renaldo has become infected with the virus which causes AIDS. He is HIV-positive because, in his own words, there were too many nights spent on roof tops or in alleyways in which he shared dirty needles with other addicts.
In spite of all this, however, Renaldo considers himself to be very fortunate. This time he received only a four year prison sentence from a judge who obviously took pity on him. Considering his lengthy record, it is a miracle. These days, "career criminals," more politely labeled "predicate felons," or "repeat offenders," are usually handed additional years of prison time.
D.B.
Note: Renaldo is not his real name.
Renaldo was trying to fight to keep his sanity, although at the time he really didn't understand what was happening to him. Neither did his family nor his teachers or guidance counselors. There were loudening voices in his head and an increasing pressure and strange impulses which tried to make him do bad things. And, sadly, almost forty years later, the war from within continues to rage.
Renaldo is a forty-five year old Hispanic man. He's of medium build with a full head of thick black hair that he always keeps combed into a neat but greasy looking early 1960s style pompadour. Renaldo seems to be caught in a time warp with this hair style. It's something you would no longer see except in movies such as West Side Story.
He's been in and out of prison several times, and the same for mental hospitals. Renaldo's story is that of a man who's been broken and crushed by a craziness which, according to him, will not go away.
Furthermore, Renaldo is also a recovering heroin addict who said that he got high in order to ease the torment he felt in his soul. In addition, Renaldo has become infected with the virus which causes AIDS. He is HIV-positive because, in his own words, there were too many nights spent on roof tops or in alleyways in which he shared dirty needles with other addicts.
In spite of all this, however, Renaldo considers himself to be very fortunate. This time he received only a four year prison sentence from a judge who obviously took pity on him. Considering his lengthy record, it is a miracle. These days, "career criminals," more politely labeled "predicate felons," or "repeat offenders," are usually handed additional years of prison time.
D.B.
Note: Renaldo is not his real name.
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