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AriseandShine.org

February 2013

At the Door

2/15/2013

 
Behold, I stand at the door and knock:
if any man hear my voice, and open the door,
I will come in to him, and will sup with him,
and he with me. 
Revelation 3:20


Yesterday I had a good conversation with a man in his early forties. He's now been in prison for a decade, but is eligible for release in another five years. He was open to the subject of God and matters such as faith and the Bible. But he was surprisingly reflective as well...
Such openness to spiritual matters along with an honest desire for self-examination makes for a good mix. He was introspective and honest about what he did which caused him to come to prison. And in my personal observation after thirty-five years of incarceration, prisoners usually keep their personal lives to themselves. This is not an environment where people share their secrets, or for any kind of public confession of personal failure.

Yet this individual, even during our casual conversation, was unexpectedly blunt about his failures, as opposed to living in denial, which many inmates tend to do. Like I had been for the first approximately ten years of my sentence, they're too angry at the system or at somebody else to allow for honest soul-searching. But it was not the case with this man.

It has taken me about a decade behind bars before any kind of self-examination was possible; I still think I need to do more of it, too. For many convicts, we entered the system with lots of rage. And at the early stages of our incarceration we were probably labeled as incorrigible because of our negative attitudes that dominated our lives at the time. However people change.

Years of being locked away from society has caused some of us to be humbled, while for others, sadly, they have progressed into increasing levels of bitterness. This man, though, was not bitter. Nor was he angry at others for his failings. He told me he'd been battling recently with depression. That he had been thinking more and more about what had gotten him into this place.

At the time of his arrest he said he had become a drug-driven addict who had lost a good job because of his drug habit, and had to resort to robbing people and breaking into homes and businesses looking for money and other valuables in order to survive. Such a story could be repeated thousands of times in here.

We had a long and productive conversation. I told him that the Lord has been knocking on the door to his heart for a long time. That Jesus Christ has been lovingly calling out his name too. I urged him to once and for all open the door and let Jesus come in. He said he wasn't ready yet; more honesty still!

D. B.




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    David Berkowitz
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