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AriseandShine.org

February 2003

Cory

2/25/2003

 
I live in the general population section of the prison...
However, Monday thru Friday I am assigned from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. to the Intermediate Care Program where the "special needs" inmates live. I spend my work hours with them and try to help any man that I could.
 
For the most part, some of these guys manage very well, while others have very serious issues. But all of them have some form of coping difficulty (or difficulties), or at least they have been so labeled.

It could be that a man has very limited intellectual abilities (mental retardation) or some other emotional problem that causes him to have poor coping skills. And because of these factors he is more prone to "act out," express his anger and frustrations in inappropriate ways, or when under stress to regress into a deeper level of psychosis.

 
Most of these inmates take psychotropic medications to help them function and to cope with the daily stresses of prison life. And "Cory" (not his real name) is such a person. Normally he is very mellow. So today I was surprised when he approached me privately and told me that he was hallucinating. Cory said that everything seemed to be closing in on him as well as some other things (which I cannot share) that led me to believe he was thinking of taking his life.
 
Several years ago, Cory attempted suicide by taking an overdose of various pills he managed to squirrel away. He went into a coma for at least several weeks as he lay in the hospital recovering. For the past week he seemed unusually quiet and subdued. I sensed that he was wresting with something. And now I see that my feelings were correct. He was fast becoming depressed and even psychotic.
 
Mental illness is like a demon who sneaks into its victim and insidiously poisons the mind. Most people who become mentally ill and psychotic do not even know what's happening, or that they're sick. Cory was like this.

At one point in his life, he was in such extreme emotional pain, that he methodically planned his death by secretly accumulating various medications until he had enough (or so he thought) to consume at one time and end it all.

 
Fortunately, this did not happen. He ended up in a hospital and in a coma. But he survived. And over time Cory was able to realize that he has a mental illness which sometimes manifests itself even in spite of the medications he takes.
 
Thus, for a man to recognize that he has a psychiatric problem is very good. Most people who have a mental illness probably remain in denial all their lives. So this time Cory may have saved his own life. For when he told me that he was beginning to hallucinate, he obviously felt comfortable enough to tell me about it.
 
After that he and I talked for about ten minutes. I gently asked Cory if he wanted me to tell someone about this. He told me not to tell any of the guards, but instead to find one of the Intermediate Care Program's trained staff. I then went to the office of the counselor who's assigned to the program. I explained what Cory seemed to be going through and told him what Cory said. This counselor immediately made a phone call and started the process to have Cory admitted into the Satellite Unit.
 
For the past several days, I have been praying for Cory. It was on February 21 that he approached me and told me that he thought he was becoming mentally ill, and that he was beginning to hallucinate. I thank God that over time I have been able to gain Cory's trust. He knew that he could approach me at any time and share whatever was on his mind.
 
Now, a few days later, Cory is still in the prison's Satellite Unit. He is no longer in an isolation cell under 24-hour observation. Instead, he is in the Satellite Unit's special dormitory area, where he's being watched with less intensity than if he stayed in that cell.
 
I miss Cory. He is one of the more stable men who live in the Intermediate Care Program's cellblock. He can function at a higher level than many of his peers. And He and I would often play basketball and other sports together.
 
Of course, I have tried to share my faith in God with Cory. He went to the chapel a few times, but this was years ago. He felt "paranoid" in such a meeting, he told me. Nevertheless, on occasion he would read the monthly Prison Fellowship newsletters and some other popular Christian magazines.
 
I do not know how much longer Cory will be away from the I.C.P. cellblock. I hope he returns soon. In the meantime, I will continue to pray for him.
 
D. B.

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    David Berkowitz
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