Thirty Years Later

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is
a new creature: old things are passed away;
behold all things are become new. 
II Corinthians 5:17

It was thirty years ago today that police detectives pointed guns at my head, placed handcuffs on my wrists, and locked me up to face charges of multiple homicides...

I was in a mental fog at the time living in my own world of confusion. I thought of myself, in my twisted and demented state of mind, as a "soldier" for Satan, called to do his bidding. I was lost in a sea of self-destructive torment as well. But I convinced myself that once the chaos was over with, and my role in bringing about the destruction of society was done, that Jesus and the devil would finally make peace and become friends, and an era of universal love would begin.

Don't even try to figure it out. This would make no sense to a sane person, and it makes no sense to me now. But "Samhain ("Sam" for short)," this demonic deity whom the ancient Druids served, and who demanded of them a steady flow of human sacrifices and fresh blood, is a thing of the past. So are his demons, and mine.

Today I know a God who forgives sin. The Lord is merciful, and He has provided me a new life of hope, much to the consternation of many. But God's word is true nonetheless.

Frankly I don't deserve to be alive. I accept my punishment. I have no anger towards anyone and I've no axes to grind, although I do wish the media would leave me alone. Yet by the grace of God I am going on with my life. I'm also thankful for what Jesus Christ has done for me and for the many chances I've been given to repent. God, you see, is patient with even the worst of criminals. He likewise takes pity on those whose minds Satan has stolen.

Of course I think of those who lost their loved ones by my hands. I think about the loss and pain they're experiencing till this day. The hurt never goes away; their grief never ends. And I think, too, of what my life would be like today if I never ventured down that dark path which led to so much destruction.

Yet there is nothing I could do about the past. This is a new day. And while I've lost a great deal as well - family, friends and freedom - I have also gained much. I have a new circle of friends whom I dearly love. I can serve God here inside the prison, and I can serve Him in many ways beyond these walls via all the material that's presently available. There are testimony pamphlets (available in Spanish) in circulation by the tens of thousands. In addition I have several films and a book. There's also the Internet and my correspondence, too. Oftentimes I'll get letters from strangers, those who've been touched, inspired and encouraged by what Christ did with my life. It lets them know there is hope, healing and forgiveness for them as well.

On August 10, 1977 I got arrested. At the time it appeared that my life was over. Yet thirty years later I could look back and say, "Thank you, Lord Jesus!" My mind was healed and my soul has been set free. I believe, too, that my best days are yet to come.

D.B.