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AriseandShine.org

August 2006

Joel's Dream

8/24/2006

 
Joel is twenty-eight years old and he's doing a prison sentence of up to eighteen years...
He came to New York City from El Salvador with his parents who were in search of a better life. But things did not work out as planned, however, because his dad died within two years after arriving on United States soil. So Joel and his mom had to squeeze into a room in the home of his grandparents in Queens.

As a quiet and soft-spoken teenager, with light brown skin and an oval-shaped baby face, which he still has, Joel had difficulties adjusting to life in North America. His peers from the rough-and-tumble neighborhood of Jackson Heights bullied him a lot. According to Joel's account, there was always an overt pressure to toughen up and join one of many gangs in the area in order to escape the role of perpetual victim.

Eventually, though, Joel would succumb to the unrelenting coercion that he had to face on an almost daily basis. Clearly a shy and timid follower, he joined up with some local thugs who committed armed robberies to get money. And as a result of this, Joel entered the criminal justice system with a stiff sentence handed down by an unsympathetic judge who had no interest in entertaining a young immigrant's hard luck story.

Yet while Joel speaks almost flawless English, save for a noticeable Hispanic accent, and although he is very bright and has learned to read English very well, he has not adjusted well to prison life. His big struggle, unfortunately, is with depression and thoughts of suicide.

Life has not been easy for Joel. He's already been incarcerated for almost seven years, and he has a considerable amount of time left to serve. And because of his depression and suicidal impulses, Joel's come under the care of the facility's mental health staff. In addition, Joel is a Christian.

Although his faith sometimes waivers, and while he does on occasion lapse into periods of despair where he disappears from the chapel fellowship gatherings and Bible studies for a week or more at a time, he and I are bonded together as brothers in Christ who love God.

To me, Joel is a hurting person who is hungry for hope. He has a very real mental health issue. But when he's in step with God's Spirit Joel becomes lively and excited about his Bible studies. He likes to discuss spiritual matters as well.

Because I am assigned to the prison's Intermediate Care Program (E-North) on weekday afternoons, when Joel is in the mood, he and I will spend time together and, on occasion, we'll pray together, too.

Joel misses his mom. He remains close to her via letters and an occasional visit. My role, I believe, is to encourage Joel to hang onto his faith and never give up. I, of course, cannot take away his depression when it strikes, but I can be a friend to him. And I cannot rid him of his homesickness either. Missing his mother and family is part of the pain of being in prison. Not having regular contact with our loved ones is something every imprisoned person must endure.

Nevertheless, Joel has a dream. He's shared it with me a few times. He wants to rejoin his family, get a job, find a girlfriend and eventually get married, and raise a family.

As for being reunited with his mother and family, it will happen one day. But as for the rest of his dream, Joel is going to need a lot of help from the Lord to make it become reality. The self-inflicted damage he's done by committing crimes, coming to prison, and now having a record as a "convicted felon" that will follow Joel all the days of his life, are stacked against him. And he will also have to work hard to obtain a General Equivalency Diploma in order to get the good job he's hoping for.

Yet with God's help his dream can be fulfilled, and I've told him this many times. All things are possible, I believe, to the one who has faith in the Lord.

D.B.

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    David Berkowitz
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