Earlier today I got the opportunity to share my story of hope and forgiveness with Dr. Bill Maier, a host with the Focus on the Family radio network...
This interview was not easy. It was difficult for me to open up because I was in a room with watchful prison guards sitting nearby. There was also a lot of noise from the inmates and staff who were walking the corridors right outside our interview room.
In any case, one of the first questions Dr. Meier asked me was in what areas do I struggle. But for whatever reasons, I found myself unable to answer this question and share about these things. My mind went blank, and I couldn't think of anything.
Nevertheless, this evening the answers to that question finally came. It's a little late now as the interview ended about five hours ago! Yet I do have areas of struggle, and I would like to share some of them now!
1) I struggle with the fact that, as of yet, no one in my family believes that Jesus (Yeshua) is the Messiah. Nor do they seem to be interested in the Lord.
2) the news media often brings back my past and won't let go of it. I know that God turns situations like this around for a good purpose. But it still hurts when my horrendous criminal past, which I regret so much, gets thrown before the world again and again.
3) There are many Christians who reject my testimony and do not believe that I am sincere.
4) It is a struggle within my heart knowing that the families of those whose lives I took, as well as those whom I injured, have still not forgiven me even after twenty-six years. I continue to pray for them, however.
5) It is difficult, at times, having to sit on the sidelines with my ministry, while I know that I have so much to share with young people to help and encourage them during their stressful adolescence.
6) I grieve in my heart when I see the outward success of those who hate God, and when it seems as if evil is increasing in the world.
7) In addition, I struggle with my own weaknesses and temptations just like that of any other Christian man.
Yet I know and believe that with every struggle or difficult situation, the victory and triumph is ultimately in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57).
I know and believe that through Christ I am "more than a conqueror." Nothing can separate me from His love. and I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength (Philippians 4:13).
D. B.
In any case, one of the first questions Dr. Meier asked me was in what areas do I struggle. But for whatever reasons, I found myself unable to answer this question and share about these things. My mind went blank, and I couldn't think of anything.
Nevertheless, this evening the answers to that question finally came. It's a little late now as the interview ended about five hours ago! Yet I do have areas of struggle, and I would like to share some of them now!
1) I struggle with the fact that, as of yet, no one in my family believes that Jesus (Yeshua) is the Messiah. Nor do they seem to be interested in the Lord.
2) the news media often brings back my past and won't let go of it. I know that God turns situations like this around for a good purpose. But it still hurts when my horrendous criminal past, which I regret so much, gets thrown before the world again and again.
3) There are many Christians who reject my testimony and do not believe that I am sincere.
4) It is a struggle within my heart knowing that the families of those whose lives I took, as well as those whom I injured, have still not forgiven me even after twenty-six years. I continue to pray for them, however.
5) It is difficult, at times, having to sit on the sidelines with my ministry, while I know that I have so much to share with young people to help and encourage them during their stressful adolescence.
6) I grieve in my heart when I see the outward success of those who hate God, and when it seems as if evil is increasing in the world.
7) In addition, I struggle with my own weaknesses and temptations just like that of any other Christian man.
Yet I know and believe that with every struggle or difficult situation, the victory and triumph is ultimately in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57).
I know and believe that through Christ I am "more than a conqueror." Nothing can separate me from His love. and I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength (Philippians 4:13).
D. B.
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