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AriseandShine.org

April 2021

My Thorn

4/2/2021

 
And lest I should be exalted above measure through the 
abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn 
in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, 
lest I should be exalted above measure.
2 Corinthians 12:7

The apostle Paul had it, and multitudes of Christians in ages past had it...

Even at this present hour many of the followers of Messiah Jesus have it. It's called a "thorn in the flesh."

To have a thorn stuck in one's body can be very painful, especially if no one can figure out a way to remove it. It hurts. Yet there are times when the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, will allow this to happen. No amount of human effort or prayers can help. I know this to be true from personal experience because I, too, have a thorn. It's a thorn that's stuck deep in my soul. I've been carrying it for several decades, and no amount of pleading with God to take it away has worked.

What is this thorn? In my case it is guilt and regret. Although I am no longer controlled by these things because God has completely forgiven me for my sins, yet as a human being who awaits his glorified body in heaven, I still retain the memory of my failings. These are the times when I'd find myself saying, "If only..."

I wonder if remorse and regret were part of Paul's thorn? After all, when he was living as "Saul of Tarsus" he confessed to destroying many lives. Paul admitted to "binding men and women," and putting some of them to death (Acts 22:4). Yes, he may have had a physical problem, too. In my case, however, I think it is Satan's way of playing on my past.

It could be a demonic spirit that doesn't want me to forget what I have done. If so, it could be using the media, including a never-ending parade of crime shows, to haunt me. Such things cause me to experience deep emotional pain. Yet no amount of apologizing on my part, nor taking responsibility for my crimes will make this thorn go away.

I will never cease feeling anguish from within. But by the grace of God, I will continue to worship and serve my Creator. I have chosen to see myself as He sees me, as a man who has been forgiven, and redeemed.

Yet there are times when that nasty thorn will make its presence known. Even so, although hurtful, it is there for my benefit. God is using it to keep me humble and dependent upon Him alone. Simply knowing this truth is enough. His grace is sufficient.

D. B.


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    David Berkowitz
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