It has become a story that gets repeated again and again, but with different names and faces each time...
This time, an eighteen-year-old woman decided to leave her home in Florida, and go to the state of Colorado. There she would purchase a shotgun and ammunition. She would then, according to her
plans, make her way to the city of Littleton. Here, twenty years earlier, on April 20, 1999, two young men with guns blazing, would take the lives of more than a dozen of their fellow students. The incident went into the history books as the infamous Columbine High School shooting. There would be countless school shootings ever since.
Sol Pais, for reasons still unknown at this time, felt drawn to Littleton. She wanted to be there for the anniversary of the shooting at Columbine. She never got there, however. Driving through Colorado, Sol found an isolated spot, and using the shotgun, took her own life.
As is usually the case, after her death law enforcement personnel and those who study human behavior began to go through her online writings and postings looking for clues. They wanted to find out what she was thinking, and why she did what she did. Although I’m only a lay person, I saw plenty of clues and cries for help.
Sol Pais, was a lonely girl. Her journal, at least from what has been revealed of it to the public, shows a teenager who was feeling lost and hopeless. She wrote about being “pissed,” but none of the articles I read said of what. She obviously had anger issues which she kept bottled up inside.
After Sol left her home in Florida, the hunt for her became national news. Schools in Colorado closed their doors. Parents kept their children indoors as much as was possible. Outside was a girl with a gun, and a fascination with the Columbine shooting.
According to two articles which appeared in the New York Times after her death, fellow students described Sol as very smart. One classmate said, “She was a genuine person, and had such a pretty smile.” While another student described her as “quiet,” and how she would often be seen sitting by herself.
The Superintendent of her high school in Florida was quoted as saying, Sol was a “high-achieving student with no history of disciplinary problems.” But teenagers are good at hiding their despair and masking over their pain. In her journal, Sol called herself, “Dissolved Girl.” How telling!
Sol must have felt as if she was dissolving mentally, but it appears that those who read her postings on her blog missed the signs of trouble. Nor did they pick up the signals of emotional distress. In retrospect, her writings were a litany of anguish and deep-seated inner pain.
To me, Sol showed the classic signs of depression. She was getting closer to her breaking point, as well. She was in urgent need of intervention. But without it, the clock of her life continued to tick away. I believe her days were numbered even before her trip to Colorado.
The pretty woman with the terrific smile was coming apart. She was dissolving from within as the name she had given herself was becoming more and more a reality. The warning signs were there, and they were there for a long time, but no one saw them.
I'm convinced, as with most shootings involving a young person in his or her teens, and who acts out of some kind of desperation and tries to harm as many as possible, such tragedies are in most cases preventable. There are warning signs beforehand.
Persons young and old need to be ever so alert to watch for signs of depression and despair in those with whom they socialize, whether in person or online. Be vigilant. Reach out.
The world is filled with hurting souls like Sol, who need a friend, and a listening ear.
D.B.
Sources used for this journal entry:
Articles on Sol Pais:
“The 20th Anniversary of the Attack at Columbine High School.”
New York Times, April 18, 2019, Julie Turkewitz and Jack Healy.
“Journal Reveals, Student, Seen as Smart and Quiet, ‘on the verge of boiling over.’”
New York Times, April 18, 2019, Patricia Mazzei.
“Who Is Sol Pais?”
Denver Post, Updated, April 17, 2019 (5:22 PM), Noelle Phillips (Denverpost.com).
plans, make her way to the city of Littleton. Here, twenty years earlier, on April 20, 1999, two young men with guns blazing, would take the lives of more than a dozen of their fellow students. The incident went into the history books as the infamous Columbine High School shooting. There would be countless school shootings ever since.
Sol Pais, for reasons still unknown at this time, felt drawn to Littleton. She wanted to be there for the anniversary of the shooting at Columbine. She never got there, however. Driving through Colorado, Sol found an isolated spot, and using the shotgun, took her own life.
As is usually the case, after her death law enforcement personnel and those who study human behavior began to go through her online writings and postings looking for clues. They wanted to find out what she was thinking, and why she did what she did. Although I’m only a lay person, I saw plenty of clues and cries for help.
Sol Pais, was a lonely girl. Her journal, at least from what has been revealed of it to the public, shows a teenager who was feeling lost and hopeless. She wrote about being “pissed,” but none of the articles I read said of what. She obviously had anger issues which she kept bottled up inside.
After Sol left her home in Florida, the hunt for her became national news. Schools in Colorado closed their doors. Parents kept their children indoors as much as was possible. Outside was a girl with a gun, and a fascination with the Columbine shooting.
According to two articles which appeared in the New York Times after her death, fellow students described Sol as very smart. One classmate said, “She was a genuine person, and had such a pretty smile.” While another student described her as “quiet,” and how she would often be seen sitting by herself.
The Superintendent of her high school in Florida was quoted as saying, Sol was a “high-achieving student with no history of disciplinary problems.” But teenagers are good at hiding their despair and masking over their pain. In her journal, Sol called herself, “Dissolved Girl.” How telling!
Sol must have felt as if she was dissolving mentally, but it appears that those who read her postings on her blog missed the signs of trouble. Nor did they pick up the signals of emotional distress. In retrospect, her writings were a litany of anguish and deep-seated inner pain.
To me, Sol showed the classic signs of depression. She was getting closer to her breaking point, as well. She was in urgent need of intervention. But without it, the clock of her life continued to tick away. I believe her days were numbered even before her trip to Colorado.
The pretty woman with the terrific smile was coming apart. She was dissolving from within as the name she had given herself was becoming more and more a reality. The warning signs were there, and they were there for a long time, but no one saw them.
I'm convinced, as with most shootings involving a young person in his or her teens, and who acts out of some kind of desperation and tries to harm as many as possible, such tragedies are in most cases preventable. There are warning signs beforehand.
Persons young and old need to be ever so alert to watch for signs of depression and despair in those with whom they socialize, whether in person or online. Be vigilant. Reach out.
The world is filled with hurting souls like Sol, who need a friend, and a listening ear.
D.B.
Sources used for this journal entry:
Articles on Sol Pais:
“The 20th Anniversary of the Attack at Columbine High School.”
New York Times, April 18, 2019, Julie Turkewitz and Jack Healy.
“Journal Reveals, Student, Seen as Smart and Quiet, ‘on the verge of boiling over.’”
New York Times, April 18, 2019, Patricia Mazzei.
“Who Is Sol Pais?”
Denver Post, Updated, April 17, 2019 (5:22 PM), Noelle Phillips (Denverpost.com).
