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AriseandShine.org

April 2009

Into the Maze 2

4/23/2009

 
The fact is, that in a majority of cases, a man who is doing time is eventually going to one day be released...
Yes, some will die in prison. While serving out their respective terms, there will be men who die of natural causes like old age or sickness, or by other ways such as violence and suicide. Nevertheless, at some point, be it five, ten, fifteen, twenty or more years, a man will get his chance to walk out of a correctional facility to rejoin society.

Therefore, the twofold question I want to pose is:
"Is he going to come out of prison a better or a worse person?" Because, as an old-timer who has spent several decades behind the walls, I know that prison is too much of an overpowering environment for a man to come here, spend years here, and leave the same as when he first arrived. My belief is that he will change in one way or the other. There is no neutral ground.

As I wrote in yesterday's entry, the better part of prison is when an inmate, at some point of his incarceration, enters a period of self-examination and reflection, leading to positive change. Whereas, at the opposite end of the spectrum, other prisoners become increasingly bitter. They've lost everything that was dear to them, which, of course, is one of the prices of engaging in criminal activity. And often these personal losses are permanent. All that's left for him are fading family photos and fading memories. Then, with all this comes the anger. And such anger can be directed outward, inward, or both. It's mostly both. It's always dangerous.

Unfortunately, some prisoners are in a state of continual denial. They accept no responsibility for their actions (assuming they're really guilty; not all inmates are). They refuse to bow their hearts and minds to the truth, and they try to escape their inner pain through such mundane activities as spending as many hours as possible playing sports, watching television, card playing, or hanging out in the recreation yard with their homeboys. In the yard, they'll kill the time chatting with their homeboys and bragging about past exploits, be they real or imagined. This is all part of the unconscious game of pain reduction and denial. You could call it trying to deaden one's ever-speaking conscience. It's also the path of least resistance because, when a man admits his wrongs and seeks to change for the better, this requires hard work. It's an uphill climb.

Frankly, as for prison officials, they could not care less which road a man chooses to take, whether it is one of self-betterment or time-wasting, just as long as a man keeps his mouth shut and stays out of trouble. For prison officials, they have a body that's been placed into their charge, and nothing more. Their main job is to keep felons confined, and occupied, and reasonably healthy. It's not their job to save souls or to make convicts into saints.

But, for the prisoner, like everything else in life, he has choices to make. Thankfully, some men become repentant and remorseful, and with God's help they want to change for the better. This is good, and there are indeed genuine transformations that occur. To me, this is what prison should be about beyond the basic purpose of punishment.

While, on the negative side, the harshness and overall hardship of incarceration, with all its personal and psychological pains, and even various spiritual factors, all converge together to cause some prisoners to give up and surrender to the vilest of impulses. They've lost all hope, and they seethe with a quiet, and sometimes not so quiet, rage. Sadly, they've become the proverbial "walking time bombs." They can be diffused by the power of God, I believe. But they don't want divine help.

As I said at the start of this entry, men doing time in prison either change for the better, or the worse. It's a fact of life. And, from my vantage point from within this maze called prison, I am able to watch each human drama as it unfolds. I'm a part of it, too.

D.B.

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