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AriseandShine.org

April 2005

Bearing Inner Pain Alone

4/15/2005

 
As a rule, prisoners seldom talk about their cases...
There are men whom I have known for many years, that I see every day, yet I have no idea what they're locked up for.  Their crimes and the circumstances surrounding them are never discussed. They've chosen to keep this part of their lives low-key and private.
 
There is an unwritten "Don't ask, don't tell" policy that we instinctively adhere to.  A man learns this when he first comes into the system.  No one needs to know your business. Of course, certain inmates like myself have a "high profile" case.  So most of the guys know about my situation.  

Some of them have had their cases written up on the law books because they filed appeals. These books contain various court decisions, and may give brief details and generalized histories of the crime, resulting arrest, trial, and court proceedings. Thus, any inmate could read about another man's alleged serious errors that were committed by the prosecutor or judge during his trial.
 
I have found, however, that those who are adamant about their innocence are usually very vocal about it. They're quick to proclaim their guiltlessness, and they will talk to any sympathetic person they could find. While those who are guilty of the charges against them, stay silent. They, like me, seem to have accepted their fate.
 
Knowing this, I am suspicious of the reports I sometimes hear about a man getting arrested for a serious crime, and then while he's confined in the jail to await his trial, he confesses to fellow inmates. Prosecutors somehow seem to find those one or two prisoners, usually with long criminal records of their own, who are ready to swear in court - usually in exchange for leniency - that so-and-so admitted to them that he did indeed commit the crime he was arrested for.
 
In all the years I have been incarcerated, I don't know of a single man who had ever confessed his guilt to fellow prisoners. Of course, this doesn't apply to those who enter the jail boasting of their criminal acts.  This happens, too, but it's usually among gang members or with the younger men who want to quickly assert themselves and gain what they think would be a more prominent position in the pecking order.
 
The men who boast know they're guilty, and they don't care.  They only want to make themselves look tough. Yet for those who protest their innocence from the moment of their arrest, it is extremely doubtful they would secretly confess to having done what they were arrested for.
 
I will always remain skeptical of the latter.  To admit one's guilt to another inmate, while at the same time proclaiming his innocence to everyone else, is silly. Prosecutors are sometimes successful with this tactic, but not always.

D.B.

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