As I discussed in yesterday's journal entry...
I have been going through a tremendous inner struggle as to whether or not I should go before the parole board. However, earlier today, I decided that the best and most proper thing to do would be to appear before them.
I did not go seeking parole. I explained this to the commissioners as soon as I sat down before them. For as I said in my March 25th letter to Governor George Pataki, "For if and when I go to this hearing, it will only be to show respect to the parole board, to apologize and take responsibility for my criminal actions, and to basically tell them what I am now telling you - that I do not deserve parole. So this is what I did.
I believe the Lord wanted me to go to this hearing. I believe He wanted me to represent Him. I also know that the Lord wanted me to publicly apologize and tell them how sorry I am for what happened in 1976-77.
There were two women parole commissioners present. They represent both the Governor and the public. And there were also about eight to ten other parole or prison personnel in the room. The hearing itself, to the best of my recollection, lasted between 45 to 60 minutes.
The hearing went very well. While many of their questions were painful and difficult to answer, as they involved the crimes and what led up to them, I did however have the chance to tell the commissioners what has been transpiring with my life these days. I shared my faith in Christ, as they specifically asked me about this.
I was surprised that the parole board would ask me to share my feelings about God. They seemed interested in hearing about what it is that has given me so much inspiration and hope, and why I seem to have such a good outlook on life.
Personally, I'm glad I got the chance to apologize for my crimes. I shared my remorse and sorrow over the things that happened when I was caught up in all that satanic madness, and when my life was completely out of control. Of course, when the hearing was over, they made their official denial of parole. I expected this. The hearing itself had to take place, as it is mandated by New York State law. And even if I did not show up, they still would have to render a decision. So today, with God's help, I was able to face two of Governor Pataki's appointed commissioners, talk to them, share about my faith, and personally and publicly express my remorse.
I'm glad this is over with, but now the media coverage has begun. It actually started early this morning as the public was being notified during the 6 A.M. news that a parole hearing was scheduled for July 9th. The media was going crazy with this even before I left my cell for breakfast. I knew right then, at sunrise, that this was going to be a long day. It was!
D.B.
I did not go seeking parole. I explained this to the commissioners as soon as I sat down before them. For as I said in my March 25th letter to Governor George Pataki, "For if and when I go to this hearing, it will only be to show respect to the parole board, to apologize and take responsibility for my criminal actions, and to basically tell them what I am now telling you - that I do not deserve parole. So this is what I did.
I believe the Lord wanted me to go to this hearing. I believe He wanted me to represent Him. I also know that the Lord wanted me to publicly apologize and tell them how sorry I am for what happened in 1976-77.
There were two women parole commissioners present. They represent both the Governor and the public. And there were also about eight to ten other parole or prison personnel in the room. The hearing itself, to the best of my recollection, lasted between 45 to 60 minutes.
The hearing went very well. While many of their questions were painful and difficult to answer, as they involved the crimes and what led up to them, I did however have the chance to tell the commissioners what has been transpiring with my life these days. I shared my faith in Christ, as they specifically asked me about this.
I was surprised that the parole board would ask me to share my feelings about God. They seemed interested in hearing about what it is that has given me so much inspiration and hope, and why I seem to have such a good outlook on life.
Personally, I'm glad I got the chance to apologize for my crimes. I shared my remorse and sorrow over the things that happened when I was caught up in all that satanic madness, and when my life was completely out of control. Of course, when the hearing was over, they made their official denial of parole. I expected this. The hearing itself had to take place, as it is mandated by New York State law. And even if I did not show up, they still would have to render a decision. So today, with God's help, I was able to face two of Governor Pataki's appointed commissioners, talk to them, share about my faith, and personally and publicly express my remorse.
I'm glad this is over with, but now the media coverage has begun. It actually started early this morning as the public was being notified during the 6 A.M. news that a parole hearing was scheduled for July 9th. The media was going crazy with this even before I left my cell for breakfast. I knew right then, at sunrise, that this was going to be a long day. It was!
D.B.