I want to be broken before the Lord…
…to have humility of mind, and to be totally surrendered and open to what Jesus Christ wants to show me, teach me, and where He wants to lead me. The Scriptures that deal with giving up all, and picking up my cross, have been especially ministering to me these past weeks.
Many times, even after all these years of serving the Lord, I still feel so unworthy. As I examine myself, I see many areas where I fall short of God's glory. I still have my battles with sins of the mind. There are also times when I feel so weak that I wish I could lie in my bunk all morning. It seems difficult to get up and get going, to have to face another day that's filled with responsibilities, assignments, and tasks.
And as I near this 25-year mark in history, I find myself thinking about my despicable actions. I do not blame the State of New York for wanting to keep me in prison. I have no doubt that I will be dealt with severely during my upcoming parole hearing in June.
Perhaps because, knowing my guilt and knowing with absolute certainty that I deserve my sentence of consecutive life terms, I no longer need to explain or justify myself or make excuses for my past criminal actions.
But even though my mind does drift back to the past, it is the Lord who surrounds me with His love. I know that God is my heavenly Father, and He cares for me. And while this Christian life is at times very hard, I will endure and will keep the faith. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I am victorious!
D.B.
Many times, even after all these years of serving the Lord, I still feel so unworthy. As I examine myself, I see many areas where I fall short of God's glory. I still have my battles with sins of the mind. There are also times when I feel so weak that I wish I could lie in my bunk all morning. It seems difficult to get up and get going, to have to face another day that's filled with responsibilities, assignments, and tasks.
And as I near this 25-year mark in history, I find myself thinking about my despicable actions. I do not blame the State of New York for wanting to keep me in prison. I have no doubt that I will be dealt with severely during my upcoming parole hearing in June.
Perhaps because, knowing my guilt and knowing with absolute certainty that I deserve my sentence of consecutive life terms, I no longer need to explain or justify myself or make excuses for my past criminal actions.
But even though my mind does drift back to the past, it is the Lord who surrounds me with His love. I know that God is my heavenly Father, and He cares for me. And while this Christian life is at times very hard, I will endure and will keep the faith. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I am victorious!
D.B.