November 2010

Change is inevitable. And whenever it comes, I've no choice but to deal with it. And change is coming for the church here at Sullivan Correctional Facility. This is sure. The writing is on the wall.

Of course change does not always have to be a bad thing. Being that most people prefer structure to their lives, we generally do not like change. But it will happen nonetheless, and this is especially true in the prison environment where people so often come and go. Even the facility's staff move on through transfers, promotions or retirement.

Yet I know that God is in control and nothing happens without His knowing about it. So my role as a Christian is to keep trusting in the Lord. I must always keep my eyes on Jesus Himself, and not on circumstances. Then, through God's grace, I have to handle whatever comes while never losing hope or allowing discouragement to take root in my heart and mind.

As the popular saying goes, I have to "Go with the flow." Hopefully, however, this 'flow' is headed heavenward, and not downward.

D.B.

The men and women who served in the military of the United States of America, or who are currently serving the country in this capacity deserve much credit. We should be grateful for them and the sacrifices they made, and in turn do everything we can to pray for and support our military personnel. For without a strong, professional military, where would our nation be now? What would become of our future being that there are other countries that hate us and would destroy us if they could?

I served in the U.S. Military from June 1971 to June 1974. I enlisted in the Army immediately upon my graduation from high school. I took my basic training at Fort Dix, New Jersey, and my advanced infantry training at Fort Polk, Louisiana. Then, after a thirty day leave, I reported to what was then known as the Overseas Replacement Station at Fort Lewis, Washington. After about two weeks at Fort Lewis, I was sent on my way to South Korea where I served in an infantry unit.

Upon completion of my thirteen month tour in cold, rugged, but exceptionally beautiful Korea, I returned to the States with a new assignment at Fort Knox, Kentucky. Here I was retrained as a clerk typist, which has, in a way, prepared me for writing projects such as this journal. In the Army I was taught how to type, file paperwork, and organize an office. So my journal and all my letter writing is something of a carryover from my Army days where I spent my remaining eighteen months of service doing office work at the Battalion Headquarters of a basic training unit at Fort Knox.

For the most part, my time in the military was uneventful. Korea was interesting, but boring. I was in the northern part of the country not too far south of the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ). We would sometimes be assigned to patrol a small section of the Zone, as, traditionally, South Korea's troops covered the remaining 95 percent of the border; and they still do.

Most often, however, my unit would go on simulated combat maneuvers near the DMZ where we had to hike up and down mountains or trudge through wet rice paddies, or we road in armored personnel carriers (APCs). We always preferred the carriers to marching. But whenever the APCs would take us, they'd only go so far. They would drop us off someplace, and we'd have to travel the remaining distance on foot anyhow. I found it amazing how the Korean people grew their rice on almost every inch of arable land.

Meanwhile the summer brought heavy monsoon rains and flooding, and swarms of mosquitoes. And the winter was brutal, and unlike anything I had ever experienced. We shivered for days when we were in the field. Bone-chilling wintry blasts by fierce winds and subzero temperatures kept us dreaming of returning to our base, and to the warmth of our simple prefabricated Quonset huts.

I was glad to leave the Army when my three year period of enlistment was completed. I was glad to go home, although I had no idea what awaited me when I returned to New York City. I left the Army with good plans and money earned and saved. But I could not see the insanity and Satanism, and the crime spree that was ahead. I hoped for a good job, a wife and a family. I ended up in prison instead. But this is another story.

Nevertheless, being that today is Veterans Day, we had a friendly and respectful gathering of prisoners, who, like me, served in one of the branches of the United States Military. In addition, with us were also three of the facility's civilian employees, two of whom were women, who are also veterans. All of us coming together inside a large meeting room to pause and reflect and give thanks on such a somber and sobering day.

Here at Sullivan Correctional Facility we have about two dozen inmates who are former members of the Armed Forces. Some of them, now all much older, served during the troublesome Vietnam era. While still others served in one of the more recent Persian Gulf wars or in Iraq or Afghanistan. Or, like me, were somewhere in between.

And it should not be surprise to anyone who's familiar with the plight of America's military veterans that many of them have or are presently suffering from some level of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Some have ended up in prison. Others committed suicide or ended up in mental institutions, or are otherwise presently disabled either physically, mentally, or both.

War takes its toll on those who have risked their lives in service of the country. Today we all stood on our feet and bowed our heads to pray for them and to give our military brethren honor and respect. We cannot forget them. We cannot forget ourselves.

D.B.

I know from the chapel setting how easy others find ways to put more work upon me, and place more responsibilities upon me, to a point where my spiritual and physical health is in jeopardy. I've been through periods of burnout and exhaustion before. But as I have matured in Christ I can better understand that much of this has been my fault. Oftentimes I don't know where to draw the line and put up reasonable boundaries.

I think that much of this comes from the fact that I have an unhealthy need to be liked and accepted by everyone. I have trouble dealing with rejection. So I overcompensate by saying too many yeses when I need to say more noes. And this has made me vulnerable to being used by well-meaning people who think it's their responsibility to get me to do more in the church, as if I don't already do enough!

But God has been patient with me. I'm seeing the situation more clearly now. I am learning to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit by allowing Him to set my boundaries and show me my limitations. Really, many men, myself included, are guilty of falling into the "Superman Syndrome." We begin to think ourselves invincible. And we ultimately work ourselves to death instead.

Yet saying no and setting boundaries is still difficult for me; it's a challenge, indeed.

D.B.

I am thankful for those Christians who have found it in their hearts to pray for and support jail and prison ministries. I am certain, as well, that God is doing many amazing things in correctional facilities in these last days. And while much of it is happening out of the public eye, and even away from the eyes of much of the church, the Lord is indeed at work, whether His acts are seen by many, or by few.

Here at Sullivan Correctional Facility, for instance, we have recently witnessed two powerful salvation experiences. Of course every salvation experience is powerful, and every human being is important to God. Nevertheless, here at the prison we have seen firsthand men who were spiritually lost, but who have now been found. We have watched sinners become saints.

Thrillingly, for the congregation, we have witnessed the new births of two men who were considered to be "thugs" and dangerous felons with long criminal records. Each was a member of a different gang, at least until only a few weeks ago. Now, however, they have publicly renounced their involvement with those gangs and want to walk away from them because they have stepped toward Christ.

One of these new converts had been a dedicated member of a Black Nationalist organization and a neighborhood gang, too. He said he was so hateful toward white people that he would not even speak to a white prisoner. And as for the guards, most of whom are white, he would only speak to them because he had to. He confessed to me that he seethed with hatred toward my race. I've encountered this attitude before. It's not uncommon to see it in the prison system. I also know that racial prejudice can be an indomitable barrier among those who are incarcerated.

Now, however, he cannot stop talking to me. We've already walked the outdoor recreation yard together a couple of times. Now this former black nationalist never hesitates to greet me and the other white inmates whenever we gather together in the chapel for a service or Bible study. One man even gave him an extra study Bible he had. Everyone, be they white, black or Hispanic is showing him a lot of brotherly love because we want to see any traces of hatred eradicated from this new Christian's heart.

While the other man had been a "soldier" for the violent street gang he belonged to. He's doing time for murder. But it was another member of our chapel's fellowship who had befriended this man, and with godly patience and love, eventually won him to the Lord.

Such salvation experiences are miracles. They truly are. And I know there was joy and excitement in heaven when these men got saved (Luke 15:7, 10).

D.B.

I thank God for the strength He gives to me each day. As I wrote in my journal for November 12, I've had my share of periods of exhaustion, and I am hoping to recover from one more. Even now I am feeling stronger than I did a month ago. I continue to confess in Jesus' name that, "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world (I John 4:4)."

In addition, I am becoming more comfortable with passing on my various chapel responsibilities to several other men in my congregation who've shown themselves to be scripturally well-grounded and spiritually mature. And this is what I believe the Lord wants me to do. I'm to designate various tasks and responsibilities to others whom I feel are ready, and are walking rightly with Christ.

Meanwhile I continue with my writing, whether it be the journal or correspondence. Earlier today I wrote four letters destined for friends in Canada. Two letters are headed to the towns of Raleigh and Middle Arm in the province of Newfoundland. Two more are headed to the cities of Orillia and Windsor in Ontario.

D.B.

These are strange times we're living in. Within recent weeks, for instance, two friends, one on the west coast and the other in New Jersey, told me about fellow Christians who have taken an unexpected interest in the Kabbalah. The Kabbalah, according to Webster's New College Dictionary (Third Edition), is a collection of "mystical teachings of rabbinical origin" and is based on an "esoteric interpretation" of the Hebrew Scriptures. However, I am personally convinced these writings are occultic in nature, with their origins going back to ancient Babylon. They are not at all inspired by God.

In any event, my friend from the west coast told me that the messianic rabbi and pastor who leads her congregation has been "getting into" the Kabbalah more and more. This greatly alarmed her and was a major reason for her eventually leaving the fellowship. While my second friend, who attends a well-established messianic congregation in New Jersey, told me of a former Bible teacher who, once he began to delve deeper into the Kabbalah, ended up falling away from his former belief as a Jew who believed in Jesus as his Messiah.

It is of course puzzling to me why such an obviously unbiblical religious system could so easily snag and deceive those who were apparently once well-grounded in the Scriptures. In fact both these apostates were so well versed in the Bible that one is a pastor, while the other was an approved teacher in his congregation who had been instructing fellow believers for many years.

Yes, these are strange times indeed. We have to be very careful. We must "test the spirits" to make sure that what is being taught lines up with the Word of God. Jewish mysticism, I believe, has no place in the church, or anywhere. As the apostle John states in one of his letters to the church, "For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist (II John 1:7)."

Christians, be watchful.

D.B.

I was fortunate to be able to finish my morning's job assignment early and thus return to my cell by 9:45. This gave me extra time to pray, and to be still before the Lord. I then spent a good portion of the morning reading the Apostle Paul's letter to his friend, Philemon. Later I got behind my trusty typewriter and wrote several letters. One was to a pastor and his wife who live in New York, while another letter was to a friend in Edmond, Oklahoma who needed some encouragement. It's been said that a little encouragement goes a long way. I believe this is true.

Next I composed a letter to a small church in Harbour Breton, Newfoundland (Canada) to thank them for their service to the Lord, and to please continue to open their hearts to those in the community who do not as of yet know Jesus Christ as their Savior.

In the afternoon I went back to work.

D.B.

This afternoon I was able to attend the small prayer meeting that my chaplain holds each Tuesday from approximately one to three o'clock. Most Tuesdays at this time I cannot make it because I have a work assignment. Only those who do not have work or a school program can go. So most of the time the group mainly consists of the chaplain and the four inmates who work in the chapel itself. Still it was nice to be there among the brothers, and to have the opportunity to gather for prayer and to make our requests known unto the Lord.

But our biggest concern, as a body of believers is, who will be replacing my current chaplain when he retires in late December? As of yet we do not know. It's a decision the Department of Corrections has to make. And with big cuts coming in the state's upcoming budget, there's the chance we may not get a full-time replacement. At this stage only the Lord knows.

Presently my facility has full-time Catholic and Muslim chaplains, and a part-time Jewish chaplain, as well. If need be we can function without a "Protestant" chaplain. The other elders and I cover all the services, anyhow. And this is always the case whenever my chaplain takes a vacation. Overall, however, from a purely human viewpoint, it helps to have someone sitting in the seat of authority and representing our church. And we know that God is always in control. Therefore Christ will represent us, and we believe everything will be fine.

D.B.