January 2011

I thank God for His kindness and faithfulness at seeing me through the previous year. But now, however, the calendar turned its page and a new year and another chapter of my life has begun.

It was back at the beginning of 2009, though, that the words, "The Smoking Typewriter," first popped into my head. This also became the title of my first journal entry for 2009, too. My typewriter is indeed a 'smoking' machine. I often spend several hours a day sitting behind it as I fire off letters and journal entries as fast as I can.

Without a doubt my typewriter has been used by the Lord to pound the Devil hard, putting him to flight, while bringing hope and encouragement to people from all walks of life. I'd like to believe, as well, that when its keys hit the paper, Satan starts to worry and sweat.

Yes, I have long ago made up my mind to serve the Lord. And by the grace of God, although I have my share of difficult days, I remain unmoved, steady, and on course. And I do not want to see anything different for 2011 other than more opportunities for me to share with everyone about the love and mercy of my Lord Jesus Christ. For with the Lord nothing shall be impossible.

With this said, Operation Smoking Typewriter continues at full steam ahead.

D.B.

I can breathe a sigh of relief now that the holidays are over. I am not a Christmas-type person. For me December usually means a time of increased busyness with more activities taking place in the chapel, and more demands being placed upon me. So from my viewpoint, the holidays really end up being more stressful as opposed to being joyful and restful. Besides, being Jewish, I feel more of a bond and kinship with the holiday called Hanukkah, also known as the "Festival of Lights," than I do Christmas.

In any case, this year I am hoping to start off with a season of refreshing and recuperation, which I am in desperate need of. I also hope to get more reading done. I love to read. Yet I think I do so little of it. I want this to change.

Therefore, as of yesterday morning, I opened the plastic bin that I keep beneath my bunk and retrieved from it one of my favorite books from my small personal collection. I've begun to reread Kristallnacht: Prelude to Destruction, by famed historian
Martin Gilbert.

In English, 'Kristallnacht' means the "Night of the Broken Glass" when both German soldiers and many ordinary citizens began to attack and harass Jewish people throughout the country. Jewish homes, businesses and houses of worship were severely damaged, or destroyed altogether. For the Jews of Europe, Kristallnacht meant the beginning of the end for many of them. It's a sad tale of anti-Semitism gone mad and out of control.

Kristallnacht: Prelude to Destruction is not a religious book. Rather it's a book about an historical event. I am humbled as I read it because, for me, it is a sobering reminder that such a horrible thing as the Holocaust could happen again, and it probably will. It is only a matter of time.

D.B.

The hope and promise of Christ's return is one of the things which keeps me going. One bright day Jesus Christ will come and remove His bride (the Church) from the earth. I hope to be in that number when God's children go marching into glory. Thanks to the Lord Jesus, I'll be able to stand before the God of the universe blameless, even though I am a man who is guilty of having committed many terrible sins.

Meanwhile, here on earth, I am joyfully watching the snow as it quietly falls to the ground. Upwards to six to eight inches is expected. Otherwise it is business as usual here at the prison.

The good part for me, however, is that in addition to watching the beautiful snow, I may have the remainder of the morning off from work. This is because the legally blind inmate I'm assigned to guide and care for is confined to his cell for a rule infraction. Normally I would have to take him to his class. Now all I have to do is be on "standby" in case he has to go to the hospital or to see his counselor.

For me I suppose you could liken it to being a fireman who must remain on his post at the fire station. Unless a call comes in he has free time to do other things within the confines of the firehouse. Thus I am on standby in my cell. The good part is that I have all morning to relax and read, and to do what I'm doing now - writing in my journal.

D.B.

It's a bitterly cold day here in New York with a biting wind blowing the snow back and forth in every direction. I am thankful to be indoors.

Earlier I had been listening to a Bible teacher on the local Christian radio station. The central theme of his approximately 25 minute message was, "Let's get going!" He told his audience to "Stop wasting time and do what the Lord has called you to do." I hurriedly scribbled down his words on to my small writing tablet lest I forget this.

Yes, it is time for me to get going with the ministry the Lord has given me. And every believer in Christ has at least one gift or talent for God to use to further His kingdom and to help the church.

Indeed, as this teacher put it so clearly, "Stop rebelling and go to your Nineveh." These were the Lord's words to a cowardly prophet by the name of Jonah, who, when called to take a stand for God in the wicked city of Nineveh, instead departed for what is now known as the country of Spain; he had a one-way ticket, too.

How alike I am to Jonah. Oftentimes procrastinating, postponing, sometimes running from God, wanting to serve the Lord, but choosing to do it my way. I was convicted by the message and spent considerable time in prayer asking for forgiveness.

D.B.

Right now I am enjoying a rare afternoon off from work because my civilian boss is on a two week vacation. Earlier I had been reading in the book of Isaiah the prophet, where one of the names of the coming Messiah would be "Wonderful." And as I pondered what this word means to me, I began to think how wonderful the Lord has been in my own life.

With gratitude in my heart I can declare that Jesus Christ has brought me out of a horrible pit of demonic madness. He has redeemed my soul and has delivered me from the hell my life had become. This was many years ago. And now I can look at where I am today and give God the thanks and praise that is His due.

Yes, the Messiah's name is Wonderful, because this is exactly what He is. As the Scripture declares, some of His many names are, "Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace."

The Lord is this, and so much more.

D.B.

I don't believe that anyone could argue that things seem to be getting crazy. It's evident for all to see. Natural disasters and chaos in nature, economic woes, and insane and inexplicable acts of horrific violence are happening in many places, both in the United States of America, and throughout the world. Our planet is by no means a tranquil place.

Yet I do believe that God has His hands upon the universe. And I also believe that in such an emotionally challenging time as this, the Lord wants His church to shine as a light of calmness and stability, of love and hope. Yes, if anyone should be an example of these traits plus goodness, kindness, mercy and faith, it should be the Spirit-filled Christian. For we are the Lord's ambassadors whom He has placed on display before a troubled world.

Of course, the reality is that the church often falls short of such ideals. And I am definitely included in this. I miss the mark often. But thankfully the Lord is a patient teacher. Nevertheless, it is time for my excuses to end. I have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside me. I have God's word too. So it is time for me to stand as a good soldier of hope. And every Christian would desire this as well. No doubt the time we have left on this earth is getting shorter by the second, and Jesus Christ is soon to call His bride home. I want to be ready, and I want to be found by Him working wisely in these hours of increasing spiritual darkness.

D.B.

It is a worthy challenge to seek to overcome by the grace of God all the negativity that exists in the prison environment. Prison, by its design and nature, can easily rob a man of his sense of self-respect and personal worth as a human being. Actually there are parts of the correctional environment that is meant to be dehumanizing. For example, when a man comes to prison he is given an identification number which, to a large degree, takes precedence over his name. Also, you have designated times in which you must get up, stand up, get dressed, eat, work, and even use the toilet. They will also determine whom you will be allowed to call on the telephone, or who can or cannot visit you. I could go on, too.

But suffice to say, it is easy, therefore, for a prison inmate to sink into varying degrees of despair, even to a point of becoming very depressed and suicidal. Prison is not the natural environment for any person.

So this past week, knowing this, I have been attempting to encourage my fellow prisoners to not only continue to trust in Jesus Christ as one's Savior and Lord, but to also do what the apostle Paul says to do in his letter to the Philippian church. As a man who has known and experienced many intense levels of suffering, Paul encourages us to think beyond the negative, and to focus on all that is good. Amen!

D.B.

Both at the Intermediate Care Program where I work on weekday afternoons, and in the prion's general population where I reside, I will sometimes encounter other prisoners who are, in my observation, clearly suffering from what is known as "Bipolar Disorder." They will exhibit periods of extreme energy with outbursts of creativity. They will talk fast, and their words will be spoken louder than normal, too. It's very noticeable. I could liken them to machines that got shifted into high gear.

But when I would see these guys a few days later, they'd be downcast and despondent manifesting the obvious signs of depression. Their energy will be at a low ebb. I'd see them moping along with slouched shoulders and heads hung down, and sad expressions on each face. I'd see another personality being displayed altogether.

This is not to be taken as negative criticism, however. For I too have my own struggles and days when prison life will get the best of me. In fact everyone, be they incarcerated or not, experiences occasional periods of sadness or difficult days. This is normal. But in the correctional setting such changes in one's behavior becomes more noticeable.

Actually living in prison can become a lesson in psychology as well. In here one can observe a wide array of different personalities coming from a broad range of differing backgrounds. But as a Christian I want to see my peers with the eyes of Jesus. In other words, I want to see things from a spiritual perspective, and not merely from a psychological one.

If I was to use only my own eyes, I would see the obvious displays of anger, bitterness, loneliness and fear - all common components for many of those who are confined. And some will also exhibit various self-destructive and self-sabotaging behavior patterns, too. They'll appear to have a penchant for bringing more pain and suffering as a result of getting arrested and sentenced to a term in prison in the first place. It's a strange pattern of adding pain on top of pain. It is as if each one has been programmed to fail; this is sad.

While at the opposite end are those prisoners who, although locked up, somehow manage to remain positive and goal oriented. They strive to make something good out of their lives, while still others will vacillate between both extremes. For example, and inmate will be enrolled in an educational program and is doing good, when suddenly he commits a serious infraction of prison rules and ends up in what is benignly called the "Special Housing Unit" by prison official; inmates know it as "The Box." I've often witnessed such behavioral derailments.

Nevertheless, as a Christian I try to tell these guys that God doesn't want them to lead unhappy, unproductive or self-destructive lives. Rather God wants them to know that salvation and forgiveness is available to everyone through the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. And for those who choose to come to Christ, God offers them a new life and a new beginning, and real hope.

D.B.

I began the year with a bad case of the flu, and I have yet to fully recover. Actually it has since developed into acute bronchitis. And what so often happens with me whenever I get a case of bronchitis is that it becomes aggravated by all the secondhand smoke that gets trapped in the building I live in. It's especially bad during the winter months when almost every window in every cell is tightly shut to keep out the cold.

Nevertheless, in spite of the weaknesses of the flesh, the story of God's amazing grace towards me continues to go forth. Lives are being touched in a good way. People are being pointed to Jesus Christ for salvation and redemption, and my heart remains filled with hope.

In addition, I still get occasional letters from strangers telling me how much my story has inspired them. I am thankful for this, and I bow my life before the Lord, because when all is said and done it is really the story of God's amazing grace. It's not my story at all. Salvation is God's doing. Therefore to God be the glory!

D.B.

At the start of the year I was stricken with the flu. Somehow it quickly turned into an acute case of bronchitis. Perhaps the level of second hand smoke, which is especially high during the winter months when many of the inmates keep their cell windows closed to avoid the cold, helped to contribute to this? I'm very sensitive to indoor smoke. So this could be a factor.

In any case, the bronchial infection is beginning to leave now, albeit slowly. For weeks I had been coughing up lots of phlegm, while at other times I found myself gasping for air. Having to deal with smoke, dust and stale air is part of prison life. Plus living in close quarters means that when one man sneezes, everyone within ten feet of him has to breathe in some of this mucopurulent mist. The free sharing of germs occurs easily in this kind of environment.

In prison one learns to have patience. For me, it also means having complete trust in God. As He is the One who lifts up my head when I am depressed or feeling sick. He gives me the strength to go on, and to endure.

D.B.