January 2008

Another page of the calendar has turned and it's now a new year.

I want this to be a year for a renewed sense of hope and purpose, along with a renewed vision of what the Lord Jesus will do in my life. Or, I might say, what I will allow Him to do if I am willing to have my heart searched daily, to walk by faith, never retreating from assignments which may seem difficult. It's also a time for God to do something fresh. I need this. And I hope, too, for the unexpected, as well as for whatever appears to be impossible for men, yet possible with God. In other words, I have big dreams that refuse to die.

So with this said, I bow my heart before the King of the Universe. I humbly ask that I might do His will. I also pray the same for my friends on the outside, and for the church that's inside of this prison.

May "hope" therefore become more than a convenient buzzword that seems to be so flippantly, easily and recklessly tossed about nowadays by politicians and alike. Instead may its meaning penetrate my heart and mind so as to become a "living" hope. And may hope be the maxim that inspires me to lay down my life for the kingdom of God. May it help me to keep going forward while all around me things look hopeless.

D.B.

As I wrote on January 1, this will be a year of change and growth for me. There will be new ministry outreaches, as well. Yet it's also going to be a year for a host of new trials and tribulations to come my way. But for now I need to continue to remain still as I wait upon the Lord to renew my strength and refresh my spirit.

And as I enter 2008 with a degree of physical and emotional weariness, my soul seeks for greater intimacy with my heavenly Father. Nevertheless, I've no doubt that all is well with my soul. And this is because Jesus loves me. He lives in my heart, and He knows me better than I know myself.

Christ, you see, is a "Friend" who sticks closer than a brother. He has promised never to leave or forsake me, not even when I fail Him. In addition, the Lord has noticed my tears. He is attentive when I call. And no man, nor any "fiery" trial, could ever succeed in plucking me out of His strong yet tender hands.

Amen.

D.B.

It's time for me to go through the five plastic storage bins which sit in a side-by-side row under my bunk. I need to discard whatever papers, letters and old magazines I've managed to accumulate. These papers mostly consist of outdated sermons that I wrote but never used, plus scribblings and outlines for Bible teachings or unfinished journal entries that, for one reason or another, I never completed. It's basically a collection of scrap paper and work left undone.

According to the rules, an inmate is required to make his bed each day as well as hang up his clothes and keep his living area in reasonable order. So I try to keep my 10x13' cell neat. If not, a disciplinary infraction could result. And like every cell in this prison, it is subject to periodic searches by guards.

But with only a small area to lay my possessions, it is easy to accumulate more than I need, or could use. Therefore, with this in mind, I've now begun to haul to a nearby trash receptacle whatever things I could do without. I'm shredding old letters. I'm giving away unnecessary stuff as well. And I've already lightened my load somewhat by filling up two large plastic garbage bags. Then, when I'm done with my storage containers, I'll go inside my wall locker and do the same. It's a good feeling to clean house.

D.B.

In my previous entry I wrote that I went through my belongings, cleaning house, and discarding whatever items I no longer needed. I thus gave away some used but clean clothing to several needy men who appreciated an extra shirt or sweatshirt. I had a couple of extra pairs of winter gloves and watchcaps, too.

Now I've started on my books. The rules for inmates in New York's prisons allows for me to possess up to twenty-five books. This includes Bibles, a dictionary, notebooks, etc., and 25 isn't very much. However I confess to have accumulated about fifty books. So I am now in the process of pruning these down to the allowable limit.

I have therefore already said goodbye to many of the books I loved. And out of my hands went several works by Watchman Nee, a biography on famed evangelist Billy Sunday (one of my favorite preachers), plus a host of other publications. I donated some to the Chaplain's library. I am also going to send out many of these books with friends who come to visit so that they could enjoy them as well. In here one learns to make do with less.

D.B.

I'd like to highlight what I was able to share in church today. After reading several different Scripture verses, including the above verse from the New Testament book of Romans, I told the men that I have not been reformed or rehabilitated. Rather I've been re-created.

I said to the congregation that only Jesus could have looked beyond my criminal record and my heinous crimes to see my worth as a human being. He looked beyond the evil acts I unfortunately committed in the past, and chose instead to see what He could make out of my life.

Christ looked beyond my rap sheet, I said. He saw a broken and ruined man who, while deserving of eternal damnation, gave me the chance to hear the gospel and to place my faith in Him. Praise His holy name!

D.B.

During my Scripture reading for this morning I came across a little known passage from the book of Ecclesiastes that encouraged me a lot. Satan is a liar and he will often try to play on my mind to get me to think that I am worthless and useless because I'm in prison. But God, as He often does, will take the most seemingly hopeless situations and turn them around. He has a way of reversing things, ever changing one's circumstances so that the poor prisoner who was at the bottom of the social stratum is placed at the top, while the powerful and prosperous worldly man suddenly finds himself at the bottom.

God, you see, takes pleasure in using the "foolish" things of this world to confound those who think they're so smart and wise (1 Corinthians 1:26-29). He likewise humbles those who sit proudly upon the highest pinnacles of society. While, at the same time, He raises up from the dregs of humanity the ones He has chosen to proclaim His word and do His work. "For God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5)."

Therefore, fellow prisoner and Christian, open up your heart to Jesus and allow Him to use you for His glory. You've been chosen to reign with Him, forever. So rise up, reign, and rejoice.

D.B.

I am thankful for the privilege of being able to pray for the nations, and for people from all walks of life. God, as the Bible makes clear, delights in the prayers of His children as we make intercession and plead in behalf of others. I, of course, pray for those who are oppressed and whom Satan has bound. I likewise pray for people who are still lost in their sins. Also for my persecuted brethren who do not have the liberty like me to share Christ in public without suffering for doing this.

I know the heart of God because the holy Scriptures reveal it. His loving heart of mercy and compassion has been broken many a time. An as I prepare this entry for my journal I am thinking of the sad heart of the Savior when He stood on the outskirts of the city of Jerusalem, weeping because He'd just been rejected by those who refused to recognize that the Messiah was in their midst. They missed the blessing and, unbeknownst to them, they missed their appointment with God.

Crying many tears, the Lord Jesus said, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not (Matthew 23:37)!"

I will never cease praying.

D.B.

I have the day off from work because it's the birthday of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last night, however, I had a joyous time walking in the prison's recreation yard. I believe the temperature was about 3 degrees above zero. The guys in my cell block, when they saw me heading out the door of the building, could not believe I was going outdoors in such brutal weather. A few of them even tried to jokingly discourage me. But I had made up my mind. Besides, I needed some fresh air as well as private time with the Lord. I got both.

So at approximately eight o'clock yesterday evening I left the noisy and smoky housing area and went to the yard. It turned out to be a good decision on my part. I was well bundled against the frigid Catskill Mountains cold. So the weather was not a problem. But the best part was that there were only two other inmates with me. Thus I pretty much had the entire yard to myself.

As for the guards, they were able to observe me through the windows of their heated booth. And the armed officer stationed in the gun tower, he stoically peered down at me from his perch some sixty feet above the ground as I walked the yard at a brisk pace praising the Lord and singing songs of worship.

It was just Jesus and me together.

D.B.

Just when I think I cannot take another step forward on this journey of faith, the Lord reaches down and pours a fresh anointing of His Spirit upon my parched and weary soul. My strength is in Him. He carries me and guides me along the path I should take.

I have no doubt that I am sitting in green pastures. Each day, as the Good Shepherd has promised, I am permitted to drink from fresh springs of spiritual water while God continually restores my soul. Weariness and thirstiness followed by replenishment and restoration. These are the perfect matches to keep the Christian humble and dependent upon the Lord.

Meanwhile, I remain restful in the Lord Jesus. I am also learning to have more patience as I continue to wait upon Him. And my thoughts of the Savior are sweet.

D.B.

In my journal for December 30, 2007 I wrote about an email letter I received from a Christian in Pakistan. Since receiving his letter I have been praying more for this country. The Christian population in Pakistan suffers in ways we in the United States of America could never fully comprehend. I did, however, write a letter back to this fellow-laborer of the gospel which was sent to him via email. This is what I wrote:

"My dear brother in the faith,

I was thrilled, honored and overjoyed to receive your letter. Your firm faith has touched my heart for I know you live in a land where Christians are often persecuted. It is an honor to write to you, my brother. You have been serving the Lord under difficult circumstances and you much face hardships that we Christians who live in the United States of America have probably never had to endure.

Please give my love and greetings in Christ to all those in your church, and to those who you minister to. I am pleased beyond words to learn you have been using my journal writings and messages with other believers in Pakistan. To hear this news has given me much encouragement. Do pray that I could continue to write without opposition as I am in prison.

Also, tell my brethren that, as it says in Romans 8:18, 'For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us.' And let them know that my friends and I are praying for them. In addition, tell the church never to be afraid of those who can kill only their bodies, and nothing more. Their souls belong to the Lord (Matthew 10:28).

If each one remains faithful, he or she will receive special crowns awaiting them in heaven because they served the Lord joyfully while living under difficult circumstances. And I pray for your nation; and may the gospel go forth. One day, my brother, you and I will meet in glory when those Christians form all nations and tribes will gather around the throne of the Lamb. We will join in praise to the One who has redeemed us from our sins with His own blood. Hallelujah! Keep the faith. Your labor shall never be in vain in the Lord (1 Corinthians 15:58)."

D.B.

Earlier this month I had the opportunity to meet with two young men in their 20s. Both had had some encounters with law enforcement, mostly for using drugs. One of them had even been kicked out of his home and was living in the streets before another family took him in, at least for now.

It was my friend Al Dykstra who knew these two and suggested to his pastor that it might help if they were to talk with me. So Al came with Pastor Melvin Travis of River of Life Ministries in Schooly's Mountain, New Jersey. And along with them was Reverend Tony Loeffler, Al's brother-in-law. Tony runs the Solid Rock Evangelistic Association in West Palm Beach, Florida. He was visiting with Al at the time. I've known Tony for many years, too.

I was therefore able to speak with these guys and share my own cautionary tale contrasting right and wrong choices. Of course I told them what prison life is like. I also told them about my faith in Christ and the hope which now lives in me.

We had a heart-to-heart conversation, and they had many questions, as well. They in turn shared much about their own lives and their present struggles, all of which is private. So I cannot discuss what they told me. Yet my prayer is that I was able to say something helpful. I tried my best to point these two precious young men to Christ, and away from crime.

D.B.