January 2007

Looking Ahead They May Die Here Intimacy Hugs from Heaven Touched Walter's Burial
Winter Soul Winning Night Walks Hope, Patience, Prayer Silas


Copyright © AriseandShine.Org
Written by David Berkowitz


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January 1 - Looking Ahead

"...but the just shall live by faith."

Habakkuk 2:4



I do not know what tomorrow may bring. I have no idea what will happen to me in the days ahead. But this I do believe, that those who know Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord must always be careful to walk by faith and not by what we see around us. And if we stay faithful to Jesus and avoid practicing sin, we will have a continual feast of light and peace.

Therefore, as the New Year begins I want to keep my heart fixed upon God. I long to always please Him. However this is by no means a New Year's resolution. I don't believe in making them. But I do want to keep living by faith in the Son of God.

Furthermore, I need to become stronger in my stand against temptations because my flesh, apart from God's grace, is very weak. If I'm not careful my mind can wander far and wide. I don't want lustful thoughts to win out or keep me from the prize. Thus with faith in my heart I press forward. This is going to be a good year. I know it.

D.B.


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January 2 - They May Die Here



For a number of the men who are doing time with me and are now members of the body of Christ, the fact is, unless a miracle happens they may die in here. They're serving life sentences. So while they and I await with hope and anticipation the "rapture" of the church and our being caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air - which is the "blessed hope" for every born again child of God - we know that not all of us will ever see the "streets" again.

A few do have their appeals before the courts, however. Some of them truly appear to have been railroaded and should not be in prison. Nevertheless, they are. They also got "saved" in prison and, I must say, they've become good examples of what the Christian faith is all about. As I've said time and time again, these men would be a blessing and asset to any church. And this is because of the God who now dwells in each of them as He does in me.

Yet it is a sobering thought to realize that incarceration may continue for many more years. That their sojourn upon this earth, like mine, may end in death behind these walls.

And I do not mean for this to sound negative or depressing. We Christians are a family of hope. Still, while we remain on this earth we're bound by its physical laws, and aging and dying are part of it.

Therefore, because of our love for the Lord, and because of our heavenly hope, my brothers and I press forward in the faith. We serve the Lord Jesus with joy of the heart for what He has already done for us, and for what He will do for each of us in the future. We're only pilgrims who are passing through. There's a better place awaiting us at the end of our days.

D.B.


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January 7 - Intimacy

Henceforth I call you not servants...
but I have called you friends...

John 15:15



Tonight I plan to spend a quiet evening in my cell. It's going to be just me and Jesus alone together. He's my Lord and Savior, and He in turn calls me His friend. Christ, I believe in my heart, is a companion who's closer to me than even a flesh and blood brother would be, if I had one.

This evening I plan to open my heart to the Lord and tell Him how much I seem to be struggling these days with different issues. In addition, I want to become more intimate with the Lord. I sense the desire deep within my soul to renew my relationship with him like it was in the early days when I was a new Christian and I was fresh in the faith. Back then Jesus was, without a doubt, my "first" love. My heart was fixed on Him and my soul was overwhelmed with rivers of joy.

But alas, the trials of life and my ever busy schedule. I've lost something. Intimacy.

I must, therefore, open my heart to Jesus and allow Him to search inside me. I want my heart to remain pure and devoted, and not so easily distracted with the cares of the church or by anything else.

So tonight it will be me and Jesus alone. I've got several songs that I want to sing to Him. I have many words to say. It's going to be a wonderful time as I bask in the presence of the Lord.

D.B.


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January 8 - Hugs from Heaven

And He that sent me is with me:
the Father hath not left me alone;
for I do always those things that
please Him.

John 8:29



As the Lord Jesus always sought to please His Father, I too seek to do the same. For God is my heavenly Father. He's always with me; I'm never alone.

So this evening, when I say my prayers before bedtime, I am going to ask the Lord for a deeper and richer communion with Him. I did this yesterday, too.

There are definitely times when I need a hug from God. I long for a warm embrace from the One who sits above the universe and watches every move men make, and He knows their every thought.

The Lord is a being with supernatural power. But I am more impressed not with His power but with His gentle touch instead. For God's might and strength are obvious. Yet it is in the quiet moments when I am alone with the Lord that I can better appreciate His tender love for me.

What a blessed man I am to get hugs from heaven when I need them most.

D.B.


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January 12 - Touched

Ask, and it shall be given to you;
seek, and you will find; knock,
and it shall be opened unto you.

Matthew 7:7



I was deeply touched when, this afternoon while I was at my work assignment in the E-North cell block for the mentally challenged men, one of them, Paul, called me to his cell and asked me to pray for him.

I've written about him before. Paul is a lonely man who's been in and out of prison for much of his adult life. Although in his early years of adulthood, however, Paul held jobs and was a good worker. But then drinking alcohol got the best of him, and this was followed by years of mental illness, imprisonment and hospitalization.

I could see that Paul was restless and nervous. A recent medical test revealed he suffers from low blood sugar. Paul told me, too, that lately he's been feeling tired, and sometimes he experiences sensations of dizziness. He asked me to pray for him.

Paul is a good friend. I've known him for many years. And I was here when he left prison before, only to return dejectedly with a new sentence for a new crime. Paul's too ill, in my opinion, to handle the stresses and strains of "freedom." He cannot survive well on his own.

But I gladly prayed for him and, when I was finished, he asked if he could read a passage from the Bible. He did, and I was encouraged to see him smiling and feeling more at ease. I then asked him to read a portion from Matthew's gospel, which he did. I told Paul to always seek the Lord, to call upon Him, and to ask for His help.

D.B.


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January 15 - Walter's Burial



Walter's unclaimed body was recently laid to rest in a nearby Potter's Field. I learned this today when I asked my chaplain if anyone had come to claim my friend Walter's body. No one did. So his remains were interred in the frozen ground of a New York State Department of Correction Services burial site that's located a short distance beyond the walls of the prison. The graveyard is hidden within the hills of State owned land.

Previously I'd written about Walter's unexpected passing (see Walter's Dead and Vacant Cell). Today, however, when my chaplain gave me the news about him it caused me to again ponder and mourn Walter's demise.

Most correctional facilities in New York have a piece of land off the main grounds that's set aside to receive their unclaimed dead. Not all prisoners have family or friends on the outside who, when they die, will come for their remains. With the passing of time those on the outside either die off, move on, or just forget about those who are incarcerated. But some prisoners were alone in the world even before their arrest and imprisonment. They lived with loneliness in the streets. Then, years later, they died alone, too.

Nevertheless, my helpful chaplain added that he'd held an official "committal service" for Walter, as Department of Corrections rules require. A committal service is a term prison officials use in order to commit a deceased inmate's body into the ground as well as commit his soul back to God. Such a service, according to the chaplain, usually takes about five minutes.

As procedure dictates, once the committal service ended, Walter's body, already tucked inside a simple pine coffin, was then lowered into the ground by a crew of six prisoners from the nearby minimum security annex. The annex is located about a quarter mile down the road from the main prison where I live. It has a grounds crew who, several times per year, when they're not required to dig a grave or fill one, will head to the Potter's Field with a guard to oversee them. They act as caretakers raking leaves, plucking weeds, and picking up whatever wind-blown trash may have settled on this desolate spot.

My chaplain told me that our Potter's Field consists of an approximately 90X90' fenced area on a hilly section of land located near a small former cattle barn. He said there are old gravestones which go back decades from when the Potter's Field first opened. It is actually on land designated as belonging to Woodbourne Correctional Facility which is a medium security prison whose property merges at some point into Sullivan Correctional Facility's property. Woodbourne is an older facility. And because this is all State owned land and is considered part of the grounds of two prisons, no civilians can go here. No one from the public could wander into the cemetery

On a good note, however, I was told that a sergeant from my facility attended Walter's service and volunteered to say a few nice comments about him as my chaplain and the work crew stood silently at his side. This both surprised and touched me. He remembered Walter and went out of his way to say goodbye to a man whose family wrote him off as dead long before his heart stopped beating.

D.B.


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January 20 - Winter

O God, thou art my God;
early will I seek thee...

Psalm 63:1a



At 10 o'clock this morning I went outdoors for my ninety minute recreation period. The temperature, however, was about 25 degrees, but an ice cold wind blew continuously making it feel much colder. Yet because the weather was so brutal, there were not more than fifteen men scattered throughout the yard. Thus I was able to enjoy my circular walk in quiet and solitude.

Wisely I was wearing my winter gear which included a wool scarf, a knit cap, and a pair of thermal gloves. In addition I carried my pocket-sized Gideon New Testament with me. This little book also has the Psalms and Proverbs in it.

Since it was very cold I had to walk as much as possible. But I did make a few stops choosing to sit on an isolated picnic table at the far end of the yard. Here I would take the little Bible out of my carrying bag and I would read and reflect on a particular Psalm. For some reason Psalm 63 and 91 were the ones that I believe the Lord directed me to. The words came from the pen of King David and they caused my heart to stir. I could almost sense the Lord Jesus sitting right next to me, just the two of us having a private time of fellowship on a windswept piece of frozen ground.

Then, at approximately 11:30, when it was time to return to my cell block with its endless noise, cigarette smoke and commotion, I went into my cell and I immediately put on water for a cup of hot tea. Because God lives in my heart, no matter what's going on around me, I'll be fine.

D.B.


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January 21 - Soul Winning

The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life;
and he that winneth souls is wise.

Proverbs 11:30



I pray that Christians will do our labor - the joyous labor of winning souls, especially now that the harvest is ripe. The Bible says that those who win souls are wise. Yet it is really the Lord who works through us because we ourselves cannot save anyone, nor could we talk to them in heaven. Salvation is a work of the Holy Spirit as He makes alive God's word to the ones who need to be born again.

Nevertheless the church, I believe, should get back to old fashioned evangelism - door to door, store to store, and house to house. We likewise need to be in the parks, on the streets, and in schools. Plain and simple, people need the Lord. And we must take Jesus to them.

But without those in the body of Christ who are willing to go and tell our neighbors that they're sinners in desperate need of a Savior - and there's not a person alive who has never sinned - they will never know the great truth about Jesus Christ. They will not experience the forgiveness that He alone offers, nor will they know the cleansing power of His blood.

In addition, concerning the ones we were supposed to share the gospel with but did not, their blood will be upon our hands. And I do not want this to happen. Therefore it is time for the church to arise and go. We must seek for the lost, and the Holy Spirit will lead us to them.

D.B.


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January 27 - Night Walks



I have been making an effort to go outdoors more often, especially at night, to walk in the cold fresh air. My schedule is such that I often find myself becoming too overcommitted to people, chapel activities or events. I've neglected my health in the process, and I haven't been getting the exercise I should.

And although I can pray to God anytime, and in any place, there's something special about being able to pray under a starlit sky.

Besides, because it's so cold, there are only a small number of prisoners in the yard during the evenings. But this makes for quality time with the Savior. I'm also finding that after my long walks I'm able to sleep better too.

D.B.


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January 29 - Hope, Patience, Prayer

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation;
continuing instant in prayer.

Romans 12:12



It's often the seemingly little and insignificant things and events which help to change the favor and mood of the day. This afternoon, for instance, while I was walking along the top floor of the prison's E-North cell block, I came upon my friend, Joel. He had a smile on his face as he was sitting in his cell reading his Bible. So I stopped to chat with him.

Joel had been reading from the Old Testament book of Jeremiah the prophet, and he told me some of what he had just learned. I in turn read to him from what I had been studying earlier today from Romans chapter twelve in the New Testament. Usually there is one special verse which the Holy Spirit seems to place in my heart for a particular day. Today is was from Romans. So I told Joel about what I believe it means to rejoice in hope, and to have a faith that never wavers in the promises of God.

Then he and I discussed what it is to have patience during our times of difficulty and disappointment knowing that the Lord has a perfect time for everything. We also looked at Romans 8:28 which speaks of "all things" working out for good to those who love God. And we talked about the importance of always staying in prayer, especially when we're facing problems of different kinds.

Joel, who sometimes struggles with depression, was having a good day. I was encouraged by seeing the joy on his face. Hope, patience, and prayer. These are the ingredients which help Christians to live joyfully and victoriously.

D.B.


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January 30 - Silas



It was a little more than a week ago that my dear friend and companion, Silas, passed away. I saw it coming. He hadn't been acting right and was making strange noises. On an increasing number of occasions Silas would stop moving altogether and I would have to reach inside him and juggle some of his parts to get him to start working again. Silas was my faithful typewriter. He worked with me every day for more than three years and four months until his death.

Silas was a workhorse. Whenever I'd plug him into the electrical outlet in my prison cell and turn him on, he would immediately and obediently spring to life. Eventually he'd turn out thousands upon thousands of neatly typed pages. Silas put out hundreds of pages of journal entries, and God only knows how many thousands of pages for my letters, Bible studies, sermon messages, and whatever else I needed. Silas will be missed.

God, however, was generous to provide me with a replacement. A dear friend placed an order for another typewriter which arrived several days ago. I was thankful to get it, and I'm using it now. But thus far I've yet to give it a name.

Silas was a "Brother" product. He performed flawlessly until a few weeks ago when he began to malfunction more and more until his ultimate demise. Actually few people even use electric typewriters nowadays. But as a prisoner in New York State I am not permitted to use or own a personal computer. As a general rule inmates are many years behind when it comes to technology. For the most part we're kept perpetually ignorant of new gadgets and modern implements. Even basic typewriters like mine are increasingly harder to come by.

In any event, I now have a new machine to handle my correspondence and ministry paperwork. And this far it is working fine. I even prayed for my new typewriter right after it came out of the box. I only hope, however, that he could handle the workload. My typewriter, I believe, needs God's daily grace as much as I do.

D.B.


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End of Journal for January 2007