April 2006

Unbeknown to many there exists multitudes of men and women who praise God Almighty with thankful and grateful hearts from inside the bowels of prisons.

This afternoon, for instance, from 12:45 to 2:45, we were visited by a church group from New York City. Twenty-two members from the Manhattan Grace Tabernacle Church of Harlem were here to worship with us. The music was powerful and our praise was heartfelt. We also received a sermon from their pastor, Reverend Luis Rivera.

Then in the evening we had another minister come who visits us on a regular basis every first Saturday of each month from 6:20 to 8 p.m. These times are set by the prison's administrative staff. Yet once again we had the opportunity to worship the Lord, this time with our own inmate choir.

I of course was inspired and encouraged during both events. I was reminded, too, that the Creator of the Universe cares more about me than I do. The one who has put the stars in place and called each by name, has redeemed and called me out of tremendous spiritual darkness. He has wrapped His loving arms around me and carried me into His marvelous light.

Yes, let every living creature praise the Lord for His goodness, and for the forgiveness Jesus Christ offers to fallen mankind.

D.B.

My tears and groanings began suddenly, and I was not expecting this.

Yesterday I was able to attend two good and spiritually uplifting worship services in the chapel. Then today (Sunday) we had another nice service. And as I usually do, I led the congregation in praise and in giving thanks to God while my chaplain led in a congregational prayer, and as the choir sang their selection of songs.

After lunch, however, I was tired. So I took a nap for about an hour. But when I awoke I became overwhelmed with feelings of grief and sadness. I must have had a bad dream about my father. I miss him very much. And it hurts me, too, that my family has rejected a belief in Jesus as their Messiah.

In addition, I began to groan and grieve for various people, strangers. It felt as if my heart was being cut. I had deep sorrow when I thought about the families of those who died in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks and for those who died in acts of crime and violence.

These painful feelings lasted for several hours. I was driven into deep and travailing prayer. I also went outdoors for an hour to walk and silently pray. And even now, late in the evening, I am still numb. God somehow crushed something deep inside me.

D.B.

Several days ago I heard a few of the Muslim prisoners talking about waiting for something to happen. It was the way this was said which caused my own antennas to go up and an inner alarm to sound.

Then a short while later, after I watched each of these men go their separate ways, I approached the one who stayed near me. It so happened that I have known this man for many years. So I asked him about the conversation he just had with his friends.

Since he and I had had many discussions about our differing faiths, he did not hesitate to tell me that he believes that one day some kind of "divine sign" will be given to Muslims worldwide announcing that the time has arrived for a "holy war" to begin. That it would be a war of cleansing in which all Allah's enemies will be given the chance to embrace faith in this god, or be killed.

I did not ask him to explain his concept of 'Jihad' further because I already knew about it. The holy Bible makes it clear that, when the period of God's judgments are to be unleashed that "peace" will be taken from the earth, and a spirit of violence will go forth. It will be a time of anarchy.

I believe this is destined to happen because, in the sixth chapter of the book of Revelation, these judgments are pronounced. It will be a time of God's wrath against all the ungodly deeds wicked men have done; they will refuse to repent. And as a Being of justice, the Lord will have no recourse but to punish wrongdoing.

Most of the world is unaware of this. Many do not understand these things even though the Scriptures clearly reveal what will happen during the final years of human government.

Meanwhile, however, the Lord Jesus Christ is offering salvation and forgiveness of sin to all who place their faith in Him. But for those who repeatedly reject His offer of mercy, God is left with no choice but to render punishment.

Furthermore, the Bible also says that this future time of judgment and trouble will begin suddenly. "For as a snare shall it come on all of them that dwell on the face of the whole earth (Luke 21:35)."

Whether or not a Muslim inspired Jihad will be a part of this final onslaught of violence and terror, I do not know. But it is, from what is visible today, a real possibility. May God have mercy on America.

D.B.

I seem to have more energy since I went back to being a Mobility Guide and escort for the men who are sight-impaired and legally blind. And because I no longer have to clean the showers in the mornings I have more time to read, write, and catch up on needed chores. Even in prison one's time can be in short supply.

Today, for example, I was not assigned to escort anyone. I was only required to be a "standby" on call if needed. However, because the cell block work crew has yet to find a willing worker to be a janitor for the showers, I volunteered to do it. So I came out of my cell at 8:45 this morning to scrub the showers even though I didn't have to. I just wanted to help out.

Later, after lunch, I then went to my second job assignment at the Intermediate Care Program. And when I was done here I returned at 3 o'clock to my own cell and I turned on my portable radio to listen to the New York Yankees play their first home game of the season against Kansas City.

I am listening to the game now. The Yankees are one of the few pleasures I have in life.

Tonight there is a worship service scheduled in the chapel. Thus I will have a full day.

D.B.

I suppose I should write something about today's Resurrection Day service. I do not consider any day to be special. To me every day has been made to rejoice in, and to give thanks to God.

Nevertheless, for the sake of church tradition and American custom, because today is popularly called Easter, I wish to report how the worship service went.

Even though I am behind prison walls and shut away from society, I know without a doubt that I have not been locked out of God's kingdom. For the Lord Jesus has chosen, as His own life exemplifies, to become a "Friend of sinners." He ate with my kind. He reached out to people like me who were lost, lonely, tormented, and enslaved by sin and Satan.

This morning we had communion. We celebrated the Lord's Supper. We also had more men in attendance than usual because, in prison as well as in society, there are many who come to church only twice per year: Easter and Christmas. Perhaps they're governed by tradition rather than on having a daily relationship with God?

Yet here we were, bound behind iron bars and concrete walls, yet the Holy Spirit was able to touch wounded hearts and heal broken lives.

My chaplain had many encouraging words to share with us. Then the minister guest preached a powerful sermon on having faith and hope in Christ.

Jesus has indeed arisen. He lives in my soul.

D.B.

The past several days have been a very productive and fruitful time for touching lives and hearts with the love of Jesus.

Almost every day I have encountered men to minister to and encourage. Yesterday, for instance, I was able to pray for several men who are in the prison's Intermediate Care Program for the mentally challenged.

I know that without daily doses of God's strength and grace upon our lives we would all grow weary and quit. But in the Lord there is a regular renewing of His mercy. The Holy Spirit's help is all I need.

D.B.

While I am happy about the good things God is doing in the lives of prisoners, there's also a dark side that a Christian has to deal with. And this is because, as the Bible makes it clear, there exists a real devil; his goals are to steal and destroy, and ruin as many lives as he can.

Thus while the Lord does touch lives in a good way, there is also a daily battle that every Christian must face. It is warfare that is, much of the time, unseen. Yet it's deadly!

The life of a Christian is actually a paradox. While there is peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and although I have freedom to worship the Lord, I also have to journey through a spiritual minefield.

Ironically, too, like the patriarch Joseph whose story is found in the Old Testament book of Genesis, it was his own brothers who tried to destroy his life. His own kin tried to kill his dreams. And sometimes, I hate to say it, my brethren in the church could do the same to me.

Recently, for example, a couple of my own "brothers" have tried to discourage me. One of them has taken to teasing me with sarcastic remarks under the pretense of making friendly jokes. While another one seems to be going out of his way to irritate me while veiling his actions with obviously artificial smiles.

I am curious, though, if they think I am too stupid to recognize that is going on? yet in spite of their conduct, which has been causing me anguish and sorrow, I have chosen to forgive them.

Nevertheless, I confess, however, that there are moments when I'll find myself fantasizing about popping one of them in the nose; God forbid!

I must remember that I serve a God of compassion. So instead of anger I am to show my brothers kindness and grace. This of course doesn't mean I condone their head games, but Christ is teaching me to overlook what is not important.

Too many good things happened this month. God has used my life to help my fellow prisoners. And there are many wonderful things ahead for me. Thus I need to focus on what the Lord is doing, and not upon men who've been misled.

D.B.